ELI5: Sometimes you lump people together by some common things that they share. You may think good or bad things about this group that changes how you treat them. Whether or not you're wrong, or even if you don't mean to, you may treat them this way anyway. That's okay - you're not perfect, and your friends aren't perfect, but you're still friends anyway.
Original:
To preface, I'm a 2nd generation Chinese American.
As u/mugenhunt mentioned, the "one of the good ones" mentality, based on profession, education, birthplace, mixture, etc. Heard someone say, "I have friends who are African American. But that one there, that's a N-", just based on how they dressed. My 1st generation Chinese parents also get treated differently than I do. I've had overtly racist friends; sometimes their positive qualities outweigh their blatant racism - enough to keep them around in some contexts, at least.
Subconscious racism/microaggressions. Among the people I've dated, I've noticed minor assumptions or actions based on my race. A little negative, but nothing intentional. Even from the anti-racism activist. Still loved them all the same.
Me: "Here, try this steamed bun."
Them: "Huh, how does the rice flour rise like this?"
Me: "It's wheat flour. North China is wheat-based, South China is rice-based."
Self racism. Sometimes we make racist comments amongst ourselves - we give ourselves a "free pass", but they're still harmful. Even I subconsciously get more concerned when an Asian coughs on a bus than when Caucasians do.
Friendship is a spectrum. Racism is a spectrum. They're correlated, but not mutually exclusive.
BerryFieldz t1_j5bnopu wrote
Reply to [ELI5] If someone says they have a friend or are attracted to someone of the race people are accusing them to be racist to, how does it still make them racist? by [deleted]
Edit: Whoops, didn't realize this was in ELI5.
ELI5: Sometimes you lump people together by some common things that they share. You may think good or bad things about this group that changes how you treat them. Whether or not you're wrong, or even if you don't mean to, you may treat them this way anyway. That's okay - you're not perfect, and your friends aren't perfect, but you're still friends anyway.
Original:
To preface, I'm a 2nd generation Chinese American.
As u/mugenhunt mentioned, the "one of the good ones" mentality, based on profession, education, birthplace, mixture, etc. Heard someone say, "I have friends who are African American. But that one there, that's a N-", just based on how they dressed. My 1st generation Chinese parents also get treated differently than I do. I've had overtly racist friends; sometimes their positive qualities outweigh their blatant racism - enough to keep them around in some contexts, at least.
Subconscious racism/microaggressions. Among the people I've dated, I've noticed minor assumptions or actions based on my race. A little negative, but nothing intentional. Even from the anti-racism activist. Still loved them all the same.
Me: "Here, try this steamed bun." Them: "Huh, how does the rice flour rise like this?" Me: "It's wheat flour. North China is wheat-based, South China is rice-based."
Friendship is a spectrum. Racism is a spectrum. They're correlated, but not mutually exclusive.