Sorry, mini-rant.

It was a terrifying event, but being in chronic pain denies me the ability to enjoy having survived. There are days I’m disappointed I wake up.

Each day I get to choose to exist somewhere between pain that renders me non-functional or drugging myself free but insensible. And the drugs are not without their own debilitating side effects and risks.

When I was on Vioxx the side effects and toll it took were unnoticeable. The current drugs leave no question that they’re beating the hell out of my body.

Everyday we risk sudden death in the most mundane of ways. Whether strapping ourselves into metal bullets and hurtling along the ground at 120kph or stepping out of a tub onto a wet tile floor.

I’ll take a 10% increased risk of sudden death in exchange for living relatively pain free.

But I haven’t got that choice. Neither do the many people who finds themselves on increasing doses of opioids for continually decreasing returns - sometimes seeking stronger unregulated drugs and risking sudden death anyway. What if those caught in an addiction cycle could’ve been stopped before they started?

Is it worth the risk?

Vioxx was amazing. I’ll take the possible cardiac risk to alleviate the guaranteed pain.

Not to worry. By the time you hit 50 you won’t remember not knowing anything.

No, seriously..I can’t remember anything now.