I believe you can take it from NJ going there, then take it to ny when leaving.

I didn't believe it at first, since at first glance the brackets for married are exactly double of the single ones. However, it looks like its the high end of the 35% bracket that ruins things. For single the 35% bracket is from 215951-539900, for married its 431901-647850. so any married totals that are above 647850 get penalized.

Here's example, with WS 7 (first one of single). You can see how the adjustments make your highest marginal rate slowly apply to the whole income

https://imgur.com/a/gPVuBw7

Top of page 43 there's a section called "how to compute your 2022 new york state tax", which references the additional calculations starting bottom of page 45.