The all too familiar click of a back-door lock being picked. A shadowy figure, blocking what little light was entering the room through the kitchen window.

I turned my wrist to look at the time. 12:45 am.

He was nothing if not consistent.

I finish my green tea, quickly flicking the bag away into the bin. I'd have to wash the cup later.

He took another step and I simply smiled and got up from my chair. I always liked to stretch before the next part.

"Vladimir" I said, nodding politely. I'd have offered out my hand, but his new cybernetic replacement likely would've broken a bone.

"Terry", he replied curtly. This was always his least favourite part, but he had to keep up appearances.

I felt, more than saw the sleep ray hit me, and then I was out.

"She's what?" I asked, exasperatedly. I had almost launched off of the couch, but the blankets were unbearably comfortable and my muscles were aching from their sudden shut down.

"Not coming". Captain Red replied in his deep baritone.

"That's Bullshit. We had a plan!"

He nodded solemnly.

"Was finally going to ask her. I finally had confidence."

"Fuck yeah you did dude!" I said in an attempt to console him. I was beginning to be able to stretch slightly painlessly, the massage mode of the couch seemed to be doing wonders.

"Look did she give you any indication why she didn't wanna be rescued?"

"I thought you would know, are you not best friend?" his poorly stereotyped accent might have been outlandish in any other given scenario, but I knew all too well he'd been created that way.

"Well I thought so, she tells me everything. Or nearly everything. I guess... Oh no."

"Vat?" the Captain asked, he was wearing a well fitted suit. He'd even swapped out his mechanical red claw limb for an advanced hand prosthetic so he could hold a bouquet.

"Vat you think is wrong Comerade?"

"I think we've been spending too much time together. She realises you aren't actually a threat."

His face became a mix of shock and awkward realisation. They both knew Lady Justice well enough to know she wasn't a fool, of course they'd gotten so caught up in their "Plan" they didn't even think about the fact she'd catch on.

"She probably thinks you are working for me, or even worse that this is all just bad prank."

He had a point but I didn't want to admit it. The last thing he needed was a blow to his confidence.

I experimentally moved my legs, swung them over the side of the couch and stood up. I was still a little sore, but I could move well enough and we had limited time.

"Does the Commu-car still work?" I demanded.

"Da. It is how I brought you here."

"Perfect, then you and I are gonna drive to Lady Justice's house right now and you are gonna ask her on that date."

Vladimir looked like he might throw up, but nodded. Nerves, it seemed even affected supervillains.

There was no time to waste though. I was playing cupid, and I wasn't going to miss, after all they'd been through, they both deserved a happy dose of happiness.

----/----

The Ride was short and full of reassurance and stress but they did finally manage to get to the Hall of the Heroic where Lady Justice had been living.

Now, I waited, as Captain Red, extravagant communist superhero approached the door of the love of his life, sighed and knocked.

She answered the door and he began to speak.

Shade Grimstone had no clue why or even how he had gotten to this... place.

He had spent hours drilling Draxx about it, yet the centuries year old demon that inhabited his mind apparently had no bloody clue.

Of course the locals weren't able to help. The concept of hell and demons eluded them, they did have magic though, entirely useless magic but magic nonetheless.

He has interrogated just about anyone who would stop and talk, which was just about everyone he encountered. By the 9 lords below, surely at least one person could be rude, but no, they all insisted on being falalala-fucking intolerable. Shade took a deep breath consoling himself. He had to find out just what he was doing here and find a way back.

He had defeated Grimlax the risen but no doubt he still had minions back home trying to wreak havic. He couldn't risk them hurting Aunt Lena or Mav, or... Well that was about it, the rest could go burn for all he cared.

Which was just about what he wished he could do to all of the little sweet individuals that surrounded him.

Apparently the world, as far as the locals knew, was made out of just about every cute and childish thing possible. There were 5 kingdoms total, Robot Land, Blanketopia, Candy Kingdom where he currently resided, The Fuzzy forests and Barbie world.

When he'd asked about the political situation, the answer had frightened him to the core. Of course there had been everlasting peace. Of course nobody had ever bothered to assassinate anyone. Of course wars were based in pillow fights and competitions of skill and of-fucking course they were all functional democracies with no kind of tyranny what-so-ever.

The whole thing was just intolerable. Did it really have to be all good? Like seriously even the food was fucking amazing, and apparently nutritious despite being composed entirely of candy.

Shade had pretty well lost it after the fourth day of it all. So he fired a fireball at a candy cane tree to the dismay of the townsfolk and the veritable joy of Draxx. Of course the demon had told him to burn a person next but he'd long learned to tune the dark thoughts out.

The worst part was, immediately after witnessing the destruction, the town in it's entirety had organised an adhoc feeling circle around him, attempting to get him to disclose his frustration. Unfortunately to their lack of understanding the last therapist he had come to with any form of issues had turned out to be the spawn of Beelzebub and the dredging up of some pretty bad memories had caused him to literally fly away and sulk.

Which was what he was doing now.

Kicking at a loose rock candy pebble, Shade muttered to himself. He really shouldn't be mad, but the whole thing was just too much. Maybe when he was five this would have been the best thing ever, but then he remembered his mother had been sucked into a portal to hell when he was 5 so maybe not even then.

It wasn't like he was incapable of understanding niceness, or tolerating it but....

Shit. He was incapable wasn't he. The thought ht dawned on him. He'd gotten so wrapped up and used to the grim dark world that lay beneath, that he actually balked at the idea of talking about his feelings, or receiving a hug.

When was the last time he'd hugged Aunt Lena, or not attempted to squirm away from her when she tried? When had he last disclosed all the shit he had to deal with?

Fucking hell, he finally realised, the breakthrough of the century dawning on him. He had to fly back to the town, say something, thank them maybe, no that was too far, but at least see if there wasn't something to learn from them. Maybe that was the answer, he had to learn to be nice again before he could return back home? That was how all the sappy kids shows worked right? He heard Draxx groan but mentally flipped the bird. He knew what he had to do now.

.......

As he flew back towards the town on wings of pure shadow, Shade actually felt embarrassed. He wanted to apologise, to explain his behaviour, to ask them forgiveness. It almost twisted like bile in his throat, but it was, how would his Aunt put it... Ahh yes, "the right thing to do".

He was practising the words in his head, how he should say it, and then he heard the screams, not of joy, but terror and pain, an unfortunately familiar sound. Followed by the smell of burning sugar and the sudden feeling of heat as he approached.

He could see the smoke, clear as day now, of course the sun never set in this land either. The clouds of thick pungent smoke billowed up from burning houses engulfed in roaring, green, flames. Not hellfire he thought, but faerie magic.

He landed with a thud, summoning cola from the town well and balling it up as he muttered a brief spell and enchanted the liquid before him.

He shot concentrated streams at each house, dousing the flames, screaming shrilly as they died down.

It took him thirty minutes, but eventually all threat of the flame was gone and he was able to assess the damage.

It was a massacre. Everyone lay dead, Candy Cane Colin, Lollypop Lorry, Minty Marvin. Decapitated, split open, cracked and burnt, their sugary syrup blood soaking the sugar grass and turning the dirt to mud... cake.

He wheeled around at the sound of a snapping twig, his black eyes landing on the sight of a heavily injured Cadbury bunny. The Baron, Carollus Cadbury, a stream of steaming cocoa flowing from a wound rent in his side.

He was weak.

"Carollus, who did this to you?" he asked holding the old man tentatively.

The Chocolate Bunny's voice was ragged, speaking in between coughs that spluttered wet cocoa powder around him.

"I.. don't know dear boy. I... have never... seen such... we possess no word for it.. but it is deep and dark...." he shook his head, a single melted tear falling from his beady eye as he looked at the devastation.

"They were.. dark, wearing armour.. harder than Jawbreaker. Their eyes- they glowed, a million different colours... and-and they seemed to fly, on wings like crystals. Their leader... A woman.. she had long black horns, a crown of them, deep golden eyes, and skin like the whitest coconut. She is... angry"

Shade nodded, his suspicion growing.

"Please dear boy, I grow.. weaker by the second...please save them"

"Save who?" Shade asked.

"She took them... The children and the strong... Those she did not kill.. She put them in bindings... She tied them to some kind of cart. Please... I"

Shade nodded, his eyes growing wet. "I will Baron, I will save them, I promise."

The Baron nodded, smiling weakly.

"I'm sorry... our hugs weren't enough. We only... Wanted... To help."

"They were Baron, they WERE. " He wanted to tell him, tell him everything, his realisation, his desire to learn, to try, but it was too late. The Baron had breathed his last.

For a moment, Shade held him, weeping into the warm chocolate. When he stopped, he found his arms and clothes covered in sticky melted chocolate.

He attempted to scrub it off the best he could, but it held on remarkably well.

Shade stood up, finally, he had made a promise he intended to keep. One he would've if not for the blow to the head he received then and there.