They were, but this was so wholesome to read that I don't mind.

Thousands of miles of desert had left me with blistered skin and cracked lips. My eyes were blurry and my legs could barely hold my weight. I was so thirsty that it felt as if every cell in my body was about to dry out.

I collapsed by the oasis and shoveled water into my mouth so hastily that I scooped lumps of sand up with it. The first couple of gulps, I didn't care. Gasping, I collapsed against a tree and let the shade cool me. It was only a few degrees cooler than the air in the sun, but it felt like someone had turned the air conditioning on.

At last. I'd found him. It would be worth it if only I could get this wish through.

After about an hour of passing in and out of sleep, I hauled myself up and staggered over to the plinth holding the lamp.

I paused. This journey had nearly killed me multiple times. I'd been mugged at two different ports. I broke a leg and had to recover in a hospital in Lebanon for over a month. I'd lost over ten kilograms in weight and developed tremors in my left hand that seemed likely to be permanent. All of that could have been for nothing if I simply wasn't the first person to have thought of this. I swallowed, an errant grain of sand scratching my throat on the way down, and rubbed the lamp.

A wild cackle sounded from within, and the lamp glowed pink, red, and purple as the genie materialised before me, looking mildly put out.

"Never fails," he said. "You finally sit down on your meditation cushion, and there it goes, the rub of the lamp."

He looked down at me, and his face softened.

"Hey there, pal. You look like death itself! Been the first time in a while that someone came here the old-fashioned way. I respect that. Let's fix you up for a second."

A wave of his hands, and my ailments were gone.

"That's better! Now. You know how this works?"

"If someone has wished for my wish before, I stay here and have to travel back the hard way. If no one has wished it before, I will be returned home, and it will be done."

"Exactamundo, mi compadre! Although, in your case, I'd be a cruel spirit to not at least send you as far as Riyadh if your wish is a bust. Sound fair?"

I nodded graciously and thanked the genie as politely as I could.

"Aw, aren't you just the sweetest little thing? Go right ahead," he said.

"I wish that people would see their own actions the way that everybody else saw them."

"That's it?"

"That's it."

The genie smiled and said, "Good one, kiddo."

In an instant, I was home, just as the sun was rising for a new day. I noticed how quiet it was. How peaceful. How serene.

Interesting. So it would seem that Christmas, from the very beginning, was never a purely Christian thing. Or am I misunderstanding?

"French customer service, you've ruined my day already. What do you want?"