Andor

OCCUPIED!!”

“What?”

“YOU HEARD ME! OCCUPIED!!!”

The Ensign stared at his console. The initial drone survey stated this planet had no current sentient life. But to the contrary of all logic, an oldman brandished a shovel at him through the console’s screen.

“OCK-CUE-POD-DOE!!”

The tiny man on screen shouted at the ensign. Dumbstruck the officer could not get a word in edgewise. As the figure continued to shout obscenities. It only took a few moments for the Captain to notice the commotion.

“Is there a problem officer?” The captain calmly asked.

“I’m sorry, Ma’am.” The ensign scrambled over the consoles buttons and flipped a few switches.

“Uh this planet appears to be—“

“OCCUPIED!” The man’s voice crackled through the console.

“Occ… Occupied, Ma’am.”

The captain moved to the console. Examined the console and screen.

“Well first ensign, lets turn off the drone’s PA system.”

“FUCK OFF!” A shout came from the screen.

The captain ignored the antics and flipped a switch.

“And you’ve run a diagnostics, the drone’s cloaking system is operational?” She gestured to the screen.

“Yes ma’am I just ran it, it’s functioning.”

The captain folded her arms. “Well it isn’t impossible for a species to see in infrared.”

She paused for a moment in thought. “What the development level on his settlement?”

“Crude, would be an overstatement ma’am.”

The captain waved dismissively. “This whole continent’s a wash. Terminate the drone and put us over the other side of the planet and he won’t know the difference.”

She sat back down in the captain’s seat. “Someone get me the survey drone’s data packet too.”

A lieutenant took over for the ensign. “It looks like the survey drone got most of it’s scans done, but it looks like it self terminated prematurely.”

“Damn glitchy things.” The spoke under her breath rapping her fingers on her arm rest.

“But the planet is a perfect candidate.”

“Good, prepare initial shuttles.”

A senior lieutenant spoke up.

“Captain, we are getting hailed by the flag ship.”

The captain clasped her hands. “Good timing, I am sure Admiral Duad will be happy with the good news. Put him through on speakers.”

A pierce of static and crackling crashed through the bridge’s audio system. Followed by

“I SAID FUCK OFFF! I SEE YOU OVER AUSTRALIA GET OUT OF HERE.”

The captain looked panicked “what is the meaning of this Lieutenant.”

The senior lieutenant threw up his hands. ”I don’t know! I can’t block it?!”

The bridge crew scrambled to general quarters.

“GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! GO ON GIT! SHUU!! LEAVE!“ blared over the speakers.

“How did he spoof our IFF!?” The captain began to collect herself.

“I Don’t know!” The senior lieutenant still pawed at the control panel.

“IF YOU DON’T LEAVE IMMA COME UP THERE AN KICK YUR ASS!!”

“WHAT!?”

“LIKE THIS!”

Thud A dull thud knocked the ship to the side. it began to drift as the verbal tirade continued over the PA.”

The captain turned to the commander who just arrived at his console.”

“What was that commander.” Urgency and confusion straining her face.

“It looks like all the port side drone pods have been launched at once.” The commander read the ship’s readout.

His eyes darted back to the captain. “We’ve been knocked off trajectory.”

“Get us back into orbit commander.” The captain snapped.

Another dull thud knocked the ship the opposite direction.

“Starboard side?”

“Starboard side.”

“GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! YA HEAR!!”

In a small flash the bridge went dark. The faint red glow emergency lightning kicked in.

“Captain controls are not responding.” The commander started sounding concerned as the atmosphere began flash outside the view screen.

“OKAY WE’LL LEAVE!” The captain finally caved.

“YOU WILL?” The man’s voice cracked.

“Yes, just give us back control.” The captain stammered.

“Oh, okay, get outa here!” The voice calmed slightly.

After a brief moment the lights returned and the ship stabilized.

“Get us out of here commander.”

A half a world away an old man closed the back panel of a saucer shaped robot.

“Okay that should keep them off our backs for awhile.”

The drone gave a happy chirp, its robotic arms swinging out as it twirled.

“Now lets go find your friends.”

——- Oh snap thanks for the silver. ——-