Oh, that’s nothing. My (Spanish) mother to this day continues to make horrendous blunders in English. Mostly while out shopping.

Imagine the following in a full sentence for context:

• Raping paper (wrapping paper)
• Orange Jews (orange juice)
• Turkey goblins (giblets)
• Testicles (witnesses, ie testigos)
• Robber globs (rubber gloves)
• Cheek pies (chick peas)

And many many more.

I’d actually look at the choice of metric as a key way that data is used to mislead, eg reporting on transactions per hour rather than transactions per staff member, which takes no account of shift patterns, number of staff, etc.