oops I didn't answer the question directly - the point of therapy is to increase psychological well-being.
It's hard to really get to that place if you can't settle into the first spot .. and that is, being prepared to believe that the therapist thinks you are perfect exactly as you are. That doesn't feel right if you have an internal narrative that is negative.
First, you find out that someone (the therapist) sees you as perfectly okay just as you are.
You don't really believe them but you wing it - you start telling them about your stuff. The more you do that, generally, the easier it becomes to believe them - I mean, they didn't run screaming from the room.
You kind of get into the groove at finding bits of yourself that are okay. And then letting other thoughts and feelings you have begin to become okay too.
Then together, you and the therapist might work to explore an idea - like, what has you pulling back from your brother? In this safety you can find new information about yourself, you can make new choices.
A therapist might offer you a reframe, or might teach you a coping skill, or might help keep you focused on a topic that you find hard to stare at but want to see through.
A big part of therapy for me has been re-understanding parts of my history now with smarter eyes and a bigger heart, rather than having history jangle around in my pockets weighing me down.
Not all of us can connect easily. Many of us who have experienced trauma find connecting painful or threatening, so the very idea of it is not appealing. It takes skills sometimes to help us get through that. Doesn't have to be a therapist - maybe someone who has been through the same things. Therapists are trained though to help us build the inner tools it takes to be in the world - like emotional mechanics.
There are probably a number of different ways one could do that ... people heal in running groups, knitting circles, church communities, volunteer agencies, film buff societies ... people heal singing and doing yoga and acting in local theater ... people heal loving animals ...
Either way, when i keep moving towards healing, doesn't matter if i am walking driving or flying, if i keep facing in the same direction i am going to get there one day. :)
Immediate_Pea4579 t1_j6h3jd6 wrote
Reply to comment by [deleted] in eli5 what is the point of therapy? by dumbass__stupid
oops I didn't answer the question directly - the point of therapy is to increase psychological well-being.
It's hard to really get to that place if you can't settle into the first spot .. and that is, being prepared to believe that the therapist thinks you are perfect exactly as you are. That doesn't feel right if you have an internal narrative that is negative.
First, you find out that someone (the therapist) sees you as perfectly okay just as you are.
You don't really believe them but you wing it - you start telling them about your stuff. The more you do that, generally, the easier it becomes to believe them - I mean, they didn't run screaming from the room.
You kind of get into the groove at finding bits of yourself that are okay. And then letting other thoughts and feelings you have begin to become okay too.
Then together, you and the therapist might work to explore an idea - like, what has you pulling back from your brother? In this safety you can find new information about yourself, you can make new choices.
A therapist might offer you a reframe, or might teach you a coping skill, or might help keep you focused on a topic that you find hard to stare at but want to see through.
A big part of therapy for me has been re-understanding parts of my history now with smarter eyes and a bigger heart, rather than having history jangle around in my pockets weighing me down.
Not all of us can connect easily. Many of us who have experienced trauma find connecting painful or threatening, so the very idea of it is not appealing. It takes skills sometimes to help us get through that. Doesn't have to be a therapist - maybe someone who has been through the same things. Therapists are trained though to help us build the inner tools it takes to be in the world - like emotional mechanics.
There are probably a number of different ways one could do that ... people heal in running groups, knitting circles, church communities, volunteer agencies, film buff societies ... people heal singing and doing yoga and acting in local theater ... people heal loving animals ...
Either way, when i keep moving towards healing, doesn't matter if i am walking driving or flying, if i keep facing in the same direction i am going to get there one day. :)