Insane_Idiot27

Insane_Idiot27 t1_j626er7 wrote

Reply to [WP] You die, surrounded by your children and grandchildren, having lived a long and happy life. Then, you wake up. A voice says, “So, that is what your life would be like, do you want to be born?” by Reditter5911

My eyes felt like lead. I was tired.

5...

I remember the sunshine on my face.

4...

I remember my grandchildren opening their eyes.

3...

I remember the flowers my wife gave me.

2...

I remember my death wish.

1...

I remember it all.

And then I don't.

And then there's nothing but a voice.

So, this is what your life could be like, says the voice. I can't make sense of it. It's everything and nothing at all. It's both young and old, and neither young or old. It just... is.

Do you want to be born?

So I remember.

And I think.

I remember my grandchildren.

I remember all the happy moments.

And then I remember the darkness and the despair and the loneliness.

I remember my death wish.

I remember drowning on land when everyone around me was breathing fine.

I remember the panic attacks and the late nights.

I remember the flowers my wife gave me.

I remember the sunshine.

​

"I lived." I said without thinking.

You could say that. Souls... often find themselves "living out" their previews. You've lived many.

"I lived a long life. And if you were looking outside in, I lived a happy one, too," I say, taking a deep breath. Do I have a body?

That's true.

"Idon'twannabeborn." I blurt out suddenly.

Oh?

"I - I'm tired," I hesitate. "I don't deserve this life."

Why not?

"I had such a good life and I still couldn't be happy. I'm not good enough."

That doesn't mean -

"Please, just give it to someone else."

I DON'T MAKE MISTAKES, the voice says, loud and soft at the same time.

"I know," I say, "It was I who made them."

I AM THE ONE. I KNITTED THE COSMOS FROM DUST.

The voice pauses.

But this is your choice, and yours only.

​

"No lives." I whisper. "I'm done."

Alright.

​

​

5...

I remember the sunshine on my face.

4...

I remember my grandchildren opening their eyes.

3...

I remember the flowers my wife gave me.

2...

I remember my death wish.

1...

I remember it all. I remember every life I ever lived.

And then I don't.

And then there's nothing but a feeling.

And it tells me to forget.

My eyes feel like lead. I'm tired.

5

Insane_Idiot27 t1_j5hlehy wrote

Reply to comment by Quetzhal in [WP] You've just gotten home to your spouse, when a group of demons, orcs, centaurs, vampires, goblins and other monsters burst in. One of them addresses your spouse, saying "My Lord. The time has come. We are ready. We shall ride into battle by your side, mighty Godslayer." You are confused. by Einherjar-warrior

>"Yeah, well, fuck 'em." I shrug. "They didn't spend thirty years under a perception curse that prevented them from seeing anything positive about the world."

POV: you have depression and you didn't expect to be called out at r/WritingPrompts of all places

3

Insane_Idiot27 t1_j3ajbag wrote

Reply to [SP] The voices in your head know you're trying to get therapy to silence them and try to stop you. by Zarimus

[Poem]

People are forged in fire,

and become steel.

They fight monsters as they come

Down the monsters go, one by one.

I had never gotten a blade

Even if I did, mine's couldn't be slayed.

It lives in my house

It sleeps in my bed

It mocks everything I've ever said.

It only laughs at my shouts when
I point at the door and tell it to get out.

It whispers: "We are a pack.

When we were alone, I was there, I held you; It's a fact."

I've tried to push it away,

But I've been locked in my brain.

Because I am the monster.

The monster is me.

Why, oh why can't you see?

I'm the monster; I'm far beyond help

To kill the monster, I must kill myself.

As the world burns down,

I'm too tired to feel

I was forged in the fire

But never became steel.

​

​

Source: been depressed as long as I can remember (which is not very long, actually). At least the bitch lets me write something decent once in a while.

3