JackFunk

JackFunk t1_j60ke6g wrote

Reply to TIL of Complex PTSD, which arises from prolonged, inescapable trauma (like child abuse/neglect, sex trafficking, or solitary confinement). It's hard to spot & treat, and can last a lifetime. Victims have a diminished sense of self, and issues with trust, boundaries, cognition, motor skills, & more. by Pfeffer_Prinz

I grew up in a horrifyingly violent home. Both parents. Being the oldest male child made me the primary target. That coupled with being on fire at 7, left me with CPTSD. My brother, and best friend, was murdered in 2000, which further broke me. It's been a long journey for me. I'm 56 and doing as well as one could hope. That said, I still have suicidal thoughts most days (though I'm not suicidal at all), hypervigilance, startle response, and serious attachment issues that makes it nearly impossible to maintain friendships (the one exception being my wife, who is an angel).

The last 20 years or so, I have really worked on treatment. Therapy, medication, weight lifting, prayer, meditation and focus on diet have helped tremendously. Dealing with it constructively really is a life style. If you can fully commit, you can get your life back.

My kids, now young adults, grew up without violence (never been hit) and with a very present and engaged dad (and mom). It was a major struggle at times, but I'm mostly happy with the way things went. Just recently, I had this thought pop into my head "I'm the dad that I never had". It brought me a lot of peace.

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