Apparently it WAS on a snake the entire time but unfortunately that snake wasn't my ex wife. HEYOOOOOOO

SNAKES HAVE VAGINAS TOO YOU CANT KEEP DENYING IT

said the weirdly passionate scientist extremely loudly in the shampoo section of the CVS

Have you read his "who is a republic" speech? Honestly its one of the most beautiful inspiring pieces of american writing i have ever read.

If you think N***** Jim was racist then you probably don't understand satire. Its like saying Orwell was a Stalinist or Kafka advocated senseless bureaucracy. The whole point is to skewer the ideology through its satirical portrayal. I mean, by no means was he "politically correct" even for his time. xD But the guy was a champion of liberty and justice for all 100%.

I mean just listen to this excerpt:

"--This Republic's life is not in peril. The nation has sold its honor for a phrase. It has swung itself loose from its safe anchorage and is drifting, its helm is in pirate hands. The stupid phrase needed help, and it got another one: "Even if the war be wrong we are in it and must fight it out: we cannot retire from it without dishonor." Why, not even a burglar could have said it better. We cannot withdraw from this sordid raid because to grant peace to those little people on their terms--independence--would dishonor us.--"

Straight up championing filipino independence and civils rights when no one else would. Speaking the truth with a sharp tongue thats still even more relevant today than it was then. Anyone who shits on Mark Twain has clearly never read Mark Twain.

Quick, the tides of global warming are upon us. We need to escape into the mainframe.