Kids who learn to manipulate like that have usually learned it as a survival skill, sadly. There are exceptions, but the majority of them are wounded.

Just by the way you write about others and your own experience, I can see that you’ve done a ton of self work and have a lot of compassion, I’m sorry that it came at the price of what sounds like PTSD. I hope someday you can get the support you would like, because someone with your gifts could make a huge difference in the world.