Sadly that’s the very dark side of this disease. It does remind us why we need to stay sober. Suicide is permanent. My best friend in High School tried 3 times before he got it “right”. Took me years to get over guilt and what I could of done different. Bottom line the answer is nothing. Hang in there my friend

Brother, I’m also a recovering alcoholic. 5 years in. It sounds like your in your early stages. Don’t give up 5 mins before the miracle happens because it will. Took me going out twice before it clicked. Hoping you have a sponsor and a good group around you. Honestly nowadays it’s not looked at as negatively as in the past. It’s recognized that it’s a disease and not simply something you can stop without help. Sending positive energy