I think about that a lot, actually. This is close to another soapbox of mine, but I'll be brief and just say I believe people make a lot of excuses to justify fulfilling their sexual fantasies in their art.

I absolutely agree. Women being victims of sexual violence in a "gritty" world may be "realistic" (Have I used enough air quotes to show my disdain?) but that doesn't mean I want to read about it. Even if it is a theme you want to touch on, you can just reference it or imply it. I don't need to watch it play out. I am convinced in many male-authored fantasy stories involving rape and SA, it reflects the author's inability to separate women as people from the author's perception of them as sexual objects. "I need something bad to happen to this woman. Women make me think of sex. I know! She'll be sexually assaulted!" Give me a break.

I am well aware not every gritty story is like this. But it is too common imo.