A great silent battle is being waged. It is a test of will, endurance and skill. The combatants: A dog desperately trying to get at their human's dinner, and the human, who is defending their home cooked meal.

Hey Reddit! So, yeah, just like the title says. If you're wondering, it's orbiting Earth right now, at about the height of the ISS. It's pretty badass, if I do say so myself. But you fine people don't need to take my word for it! I hacked the ISS tracker site and turned it into the Death Laser tracking site!

Oh yeah, I guess you're going to need some proof that my baby can do what I say, right? M'kay, how about this? Ten minutes after this post goes live, I'll blow something up! I'll even let you choose. Let's say the moon, Mars, or, let's go with Venus. The poll will go live at about the same time this post does, so vote away!

Edit 1: The people have spoken! And man, you guys really hate Venus. I mean, wow! That was really lop sided. Okay, folks, keep your eyes on the sky, because this is going to be bright.

Edit 2: Man, you guys lost all your creativity. I mean, really, let's get some more interesting questions! Okay, I guess I'll answer the most common questions here.

Q1: Why am I doing this? Mostly because I can and the Earth sucks. Or, well, I guess people suck. But all the people live on Earth, so yeah. Bye bye Earth. Bye bye humanity.

Q2: Is there any way to stop my Death Laser? Short answer? No. I've got, like, a dozen ways to make sure it goes off, even if something bad happens to me. And if you think taking out the laser is possible, then nope. No country on Earth can launch something capable of destroying it so quickly.

But what do you say we make things more interesting? For every 100 upvotes this post gets, I'll delay the laser by 1 minute! And awards will give you an extra 5 minutes! I'll even make it retroactive, so all the stuff I already got counts. Who knows, maybe if enough people keep this going, someone will be able to nuke the Death Laser out of the sky or something!

Q3: How did I build a giant orbital Death Laser without anyone noticing? Uh, because I'm awesome, that's why. I'll admit it wasn't easy, and it took a lot of time, but it was so worth it. But if you really want some kind of specifics, I basically used robots. I built each part from scratch, built a bunch of robots to assemble it in space, hooked everything up to a lot of small rockets, and launched them all one by one. It took a few years, but I did it.

Q4: If I can build a giant orbital Death Laser, then couldn't I do something beneficial to humanity instead? Yes. Yes I could. But see question 1 on why I'm not.

Q5: Is there anything I want that can stop this. See question 3. No, I'm not holding the world ransom. I don't give a damn about money. You can't buy me out. I'm literally blowing up the world, with me on it! You think I care about my bank account?

Edit 3: Wow, so many upvotes! So many awards! You guys like me! Yay! I'm still gonna blow everything up though. You just have more time to mess around. Oh, and if you're thinking that some government is going to save you? Nah. I totally hacked pretty much everyone. I didn't completely shut them down though. They technically can still take out my Death Laser if they work fast enough, but the odds are pretty slim.

Also, I'm glad you guys are asking more interesting questions. Keep it up for as long as you can!

Edit 4: Welp, time's just about up. All you guys have left now is to go outside. Look up to the sky and watch the biggest, best, and last light show on Earth. See ya, Reddit. It's been fun!

Hate turns to love turns to hate and back again.

Capt. Lussiz was finally able to relax. Get a little thinking done. Maybe finally get around to updating the Captain's log. He had not done that in cycles. And he had a lot to report. Those new crew members were some of the most useful individuals he had ever seen, but they were also some of the most aggravating beings in the galaxy.

It seemed like every incident was either caused or solved by one of them. Mostly caused. He did not even want to think about what those damned bipeds were about to do with that broken gravity amplifier. They said something about atomic degradation rates and ran off saying the words that still haunted his rest period: "This is gonna be awesome!"

His dorsal frill still rose when he thought about those words, and what usually followed. But he still had to dictate every notable event into the logs, otherwise headquarters would flay him.

He was about to start the recording system when the door alerted him to a visitor. His frill stiffened in annoyance. He hit the comm system.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Captain, sir? There's been an... an incident."

Lussiz recognized the voice of his quartermaster. If she was nervous, then he could only think of one source. He opened the door to admit the aging Stelaxian.

"It was them again, wasn't it?

"Yes, captain." She said, tapping her third foot, indicating agreement.

"What was it this time?" He could already tell this would be a new entry in the logs.

"You recall last cycle the report of container 563 going missing?"

He gave his acknowledgement. It was hard to forget a large quantity of a highly toxic substance going missing. And her bringing it up made his mind go to the logical -- and unfortunate -- conclusion.

"What did they do with it?" He asked. "They weren't trying to weaponize it, were they?"

"No, sir. They were...using it as a food additive. Practically drinking the stuff."

Her rearmost legs were skittering across the metal floor. He felt the same way. How could they eat that stuff?

"But...that was pure capsaicin. Toxic to, well, everything." He said, as if that would change something.

"I know, sir. But they were eating it. They said they wanted something "spicy" for their meal, whatever that means. And when asked about drinking it, they said it was mimicking something called the "hot pepper challenge" from their homeworld."

He let out a tired rumble from his air sacks. Now he had another problem to deal with.

"Did you at least get the raining capsaicin back?"

"Yes, sir. They seemed upset by it though. They complained that their food rations were too bland and that...that poison was what they needed to make it better."

"Of course they drink poison for fun. Why wouldn't they?" He muttered under his breath. Then, much louder, "Thank you for your report. Keep all toxic substances locked up with grade one locking systems from now on, just in case."

The quartermaster gave her agreement and headed off. The captain trudged heavily to the log recording system and activated it before any more interruptions could manifest.

"Captain's log. The new crew members continue to be an irritant to myself and the rest of the crew. Their behavior is unpredictable and distressing. The latest in a long line of incidents has them stealing a large quantity of a controlled toxic substance. They did so to ingest it, while saying they wanted something spicy for their food. I don't even know what that means, but that was, according to my highly reliable quartermaster, the excuse given."

He continued to give his extensive list of reports on the crew member's behavior, both positive and negative. It took him far too long to do. When he was finally done, he sat on his reclining seat and said, out loud for some reason,

"I swear these damn humans are going to be the death of me."

It was hate at first sight.

For Red Terror, it was easy to infiltrate the Hero's Society. Suspiciously easy, actually. All he had to do was change his pseudonym and put on a different costume. He had even been given a guided tour by one of the Society's biggest names.

Red Terror followed behind the tall, aggravatingly muscles form of Capt. Justice. The hero had been a thorn in Red's side for far too long. So he took far too much joy in asking the most annoying questions he could. He made his questions fanboy level at times, at least at first. He had calmed down during the tour itself. It was important to learn as much about the enemy's facilities as possible.

"And here we have the assignment room." The hero said. "Here's where you'll get your missions, and what city you'll be assigned to for most of your career."

Red looked in. The room was dominated by a large holographic map of the country, with computer stations set up circling it. All of the major cities were highlighted, and the few stations he could see showed a list of the heroes active in those cities. But there was something about what the Captain had said that tugged at Red's mind.

"Why would I be assigned to a city?" He asked. "All of them are covered by at least two heroes already, and the really big ones have more."

"Oh, don't worry about that. Just know that you'll be working with pros at every moment."

That was not as comforting as it was probably intended. Red knew sinister language when he heard it.

"Well, that's good to know." He said, storing the conversation away for later.

As the two left the room, another hero came down. She was a smaller woman, well, smaller relative to other heroines, in that she was not threatening to bust out of her costume at every moment. Red knew her as Shift, but he had never dealt with her.

"Hey, Cap." Shift said. "Who'd you peeve off to get newbie duty?"

"Hey, I volunteered for this one." Justice said. "He's very promising, you know."

"Uh-huh, sure you did." She said while obviously rolling her eyes. "Anyways, I'm sure you know this, but I'm Shift."

She extended a hand. Red took it and glanced quickly at her hand.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Red Surge." He said.

As their hands separated, he hid the note she had slipped him. She left without even a second glance. The tour continued. It was not until it was done that he was able to duck into a bathroom.

Looking at the note, he read quickly. 'Want to know the truth?' it said. Then it gave an address and a time. He took some time to memorize the address before disposing of the note. There was definitely something else going on here. Something he wanted to know. A weakness in the Society that could be exploited. And what kind of villain would he be if he did not do just that?

Jeff flicked the light switch. It did not turn on, even though he had changed the bulb the other day. And it was a long life LED, so he knew that was not the cause. He sighed. Should he even bother going through the landlord?

Well, even if he worked on it himself, there was little he could do. At least, not this early in the morning. He headed to the small kitchen and started brewing the dark nectar that was coffee. As he waited for it to brew, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye.

The shadows roiled and twisted. The air seemed to grow a little colder as the darkness moved. It came together, deepening and solidifying. The mass of pure darkness rose, shifting into a humanoid form. Its arms were thin and long, and its thin fingers ended in claws the size of large kitchen knives. The creature's face was a hollow ball of shadows, save for the eyes. Two silver circles set into pure darkness shone out. The creature raised one of its clawed hands.

Jeff groaned. "Really, Ted? We talked about this. If you want something, knock on the door."

"Sorry." Ted said. His voice was like the cold wind of winter blowing through a dark forest. "I wasn't sure if you were up yet. I didn't want to wake you if you were still asleep."

"Uh-huh." Jeff said dully.

The coffee was just finishing up, and he went to get his cup. He was about to get a second for Ted, but then he remembered the living shadow did not eat or drink. So, he just set about getting us own cup ready. Even a single sip was enough to improve his mood.

"So, what's up?" He asked.

"My shower isn't working." Ted said.

"I thought you didn't need to shower. You know, being an incorporeal being and all."

"I don't, but Scott does."

"Ah, right. Did you get Mr. Devone to take a look at it?"

"Why bother? He won't do anything."

Jeff nodded. Their landlord was indeed known for being lazy. It was faster to just do it himself. But still, taking care of this building was not easy. Scott, for example, had probably broken the shower when his horn punctured something. The problems of being a minotaur, he supposed.

"True. I'll take a look at it later."

Ted gave his thanks and vanished into the floor. Jeff took his time to savor his coffee and get himself some breakfast. Once he was done, he got a few things he might need, and headed to Ted and Scott's apartment. Then he would go down to see if the demon couple downstairs had actually taken steps to keep the floors from charring.

Lots to do for his neighbors, especially in the old building. After all, just because the other residents were horrible monsters did not mean he had to be one too.

It was his first day on the job, and Ted was determined to make a good impression. Sure it was just a construction job, but getting along with coworkers was important no matter what a person did for a living.

He had already gotten his safety gear and was heading to the field. The place was buzzing with activity. People ran around, the sound of tools filled the air, and large vehicles lumbered around. The place was dominated by the skeleton of the building in the middle though.

Since he had not gotten an assignment, Ted figured that was the best place to start looking for a foreman or a supervisor. Someone who could place him best. He hurried to the building in progress, but slowed greatly when he got there. He did not want to disturb anyone by moving too quickly, after all.

Apparently, he did not do a good enough job of that.

"Um, excuse me? Can I ask you to move? I have to deliver these pretty quickly, and there's not much room to move."

The speaker was a young woman, he could tell that by the voice. But there was plenty of room to move. What was she delivering that would require such a large space? He turned and his eyes widened.

The woman was quite the beauty, and while that would normally be quite important for him, what he focused on was what she was carrying. She held a massive pile of I-beams. Each one had to be more than ten feet long and at least two wide. And there were dozens of them. The pile was easily three times taller than she was, to say nothing of width. The woman held them over her head like it was nothing.

"Uh...sorry?" He said.

"Hm, you don't look familiar." She said. "Are you new here?"

"Y-yeah. I, uh, I'm just starting today."

She smiled brightly, practically ignoring her load. "That's great! We've been needing a few extra hands. I'm Mary, nice to meet you."

"I, uh, I'm Ted." He replied hesitantly.

"So, Ted, what can you do?"

"Huh?"

"What's your power?"

"My...power?"

Ted looked around. He saw a small shadow pass over the ground and looked up. He saw a person flying. In another part of the yard, several small pieces of metal were being held up by electricity that came from a bored looking woman. Ted's eyes opened wide at the realization.

"I...I think I might have gotten the wrong place."

"Why? Something wrong?"

"I...I, uh, I'm not a super."

"You're not?" She asked. He shook his head. "Oh, I see." She nodded. "You're that new guy."

"What?"

"We were told we were getting a normal soon. Don't worry, you're in the right place."

"No, I'm pretty sure I'm not." He watched a man weld two beams together by shooting flame out of his fingertips.

Molly chuckled. "No, I promise, you didn't make a mistake. Come on, I've got to deliver these beams. I'll introduce you to the boss when I'm done."

She started walking, leaving Ted to get out of her way and then follow behind. Maybe she would be able to protect him if some of the others got aggressive. Plus, he had a lot of questions.

"So, why would a super construction company need a normal guy like me?"

"Because you fulfill a very important role. And no, it's not just for a diversity hire. You're here to do all the things supers can't."

"Oh yeah, like there's anything like that." He said while rolling his eyes.

"No, really, it's true. Take me for example. What do you think would happen if I was to handle plywood? You know, the stuff we're going to need in very large quantities soon?"

"Uh, what?"

"It would break. I can't be gentle enough to grip something that fragile. Now, see that guy welding stuff? Don't get too close to him. He radiates heat like crazy. Not because he wanted to. He just does. And it's hot enough that he can't get close to anything that melts or burns easily. Like plastic. And see that girl with the lightning powers? Can't get within ten feet of anything with a circuit board."

"So, I'm here to handle all the fragile stuff?"

"That's right. And make no mistake, there is a lot of that. In fact, without you, we'll never be able to get this building done. Heck, I'd say pretty soon you'll be the most in demand person here."

"Even though I can't lift...however much you are?"

"I'd say it's about 95 tons." She said casually. "And it's because you can't lift this much."

Ted thought about that in silence as he followed her. It was hard to believe that he could ever do something a bunch of supers could not. He knew they were rare, but everything he had heard about them said they were just better in every way. Nothing about normals like him being useful to people who could fly or lift hundreds of tons.

Even looking at such a slender woman easily lifting such a huge amount of metal made him feel useless. But he had also never spoken to a super himself. Few people had, given their rarity. And now one of them was telling him he was not only useful, but essential? It was hard to believe.

But as he thought about it, he came to realize that he had to have been hired for something. Which meant he would be good for something. He would just have to find out what that was.

Zack had no idea why he was there. This was not a part of the city good people went to. This was the kind of place where a guy could get his teeth knocked out for walking on the wrong side of the street. And the less he thought about the store itself, the better.

But he was determined to see this through, even if it could end up with him in a hospital. Besides, he already had ideas on how to get back at the others for forcing this onto him.

He took a deep breath and entered the building. It was a small pawn shop. So small that there was barely enough room to move without tripping over anything. The man at the counter looked like he crushed rocks for fun, and had so much ink that Zack was left wondering what color his actual skin was.

"What?" The man growled.

"Nothing." Zack said quickly. "Just, uh, you know, looking around."

The man grunted but did not say anything. Zack took this to be a good sign and began looking around. Not that there was much to look at. His eyes moved along the few shelves, glancing at the various items.

Old dolls, mismatched keyrings, old instruments, even a worn out hammer. Nothing was really interesting though. Zack sighed and turned to leave when he heard something. Well, not really heard. It was more like he felt something. Something deep down inside of him. He could not figure out where the feeling came from, but he looked around again.

He slowly perused the various items. Suddenly, the feeling came back. It felt old and powerful. And it got stronger the closer he got to the hammer. It was a piece of junk. Covered in rust and sporting a few thin cracks along the side. The head was short and stubby, with one side ending in a relatively large face, while the other side was much smaller. It looked like a pain to use, but he was hardly an expert on tool use.

Zack was about to pass it by when the feeling came back, more potent than before. Without even intending to, he picked up the tool. It felt warm, like it had been bathed in heat for a long time. And when it was off the shelf, his mind began churning. Racing with images, sounds and feeling. Flashes of a massive man using the hammer to strike red hot metal. The sound of hammer and anvil. The feeling of blazing heat.

Suddenly, the visions stopped flashing at a break neck pace, and steadied into the image of the great blacksmith. The man's eyes glowed like hot coals, and his hair looked like strands of hot metal. He was also big. Bigger than the shopkeeper by more than double.

"Hm, not worthy." The man said in a voice as heavy as a mountain. "Not yet anyway. Hm, but someday. Yes, someday you will be. Hm. Go, young one. Learn well. Use my hammer well and restart the Great Forge. Hm. It will not be easy. Very difficult. But it will be worth it. Good luck."

The vision ended. He blinked as his vision returned to normal, and the small dusty pawn shop came back into very.

"Hey. You gonna buy that or not?" The shopkeep rumbled. He looked a lot less intimidating for some reason.

"Huh? Oh, uh, yeah. Yeah, I think I am."

Zack hefted the old smith's hammer and resolved himself to learning the art of the forge. He had no idea who that giant blacksmith was, but it was clearly someone important. And Zack was not one to let a challenge go unfulfilled.