I don’t think she faked her death irl, just on fb.

Yes, it’s Bessie Head. It’s an amazing book, it was life changing for me.

If you liked it then I recommend Grain of Wheat, A Question of Power, and the Beautiful Ones are Not Yet Born as three other great African novels.

I was diagnosed about 15 years ago, and was told I had ADD not ADHD, maybe I misunderstood something. Or has the research/understanding evolved since then?

I couldn’t say much about what ayahuasca is like with ADHD, in the sense that I have nothing but my own experiences to compare it to. That said, I was on Ritalin for about a year when I was first diagnosed and it worked extremely well and I felt amazing (unfortunately it stopped working as well over time and when they increased my dosage it went very badly and I had to stop all together). So I ‘went back’ to having ADD and was too nervous to try another medication (I had heart issues with Ritalin, among other issues).

I’ve been working with ayahuasca almost 12 years now- and if I don’t have too much sugar and sleep well, I mostly feel almost as clear/productive/in control of my time and attention as I did on Ritalin. Not as clear, but close. It’s a really marked change in terms of lateness, lost items, ect.

Ayahuasca helped in a few obvious ways in terms of resolving shame, trauma, and self judgement (which was creating an anxiety cloud that exacerbated procrastination and avoidance). It also regularized my meditation practice, exercise, good eating habits- which all contribute.

I think probably the most significant aspects have been around prioritization and conditioning my responses to impulses. I see now that my expectations of what can be done in a set amount of time are often/have been way way off and this has contributed to over commitment, which leads to overload, then procrastination, shutdown, complete loss of attention control. So, prioritization and time management is now, for me, understood as a more complex aspect of self care. Ayahuasca has helped me to begin to (very much still in process) clear the fog/numbness that ‘traps’ my attention and estranges it from my intention. I can still, intentionally, get hyper focused for long periods of time, but, I remain present in a way I didn’t previously.

It’s hard to really describe… but it’s definitely been a huge change- and one very clearly activated by specific ceremonial experiences.

The specific experiences have been either ‘seeing’ neuropathways being re-wired or an experience of knowing/being told that my neuropathways are being reset and I have an opportunity to reinforce the reset with behaviours. Like, a highway is being built between a and b where there used to be a dirt road- so I can now take that route, but I need to choose to, and I need to maintain it.

Hope that makes sense!!

I feel that my ADD (I don’t have ADHD) is in remission. I no longer miss deadlines/work to the last moment, or procrastinate. Maintaining my organizational tools doesn’t feel difficult and if I start to slip I recognize it as a sign to lessen my work load and refocus. I don’t have nearly as much trouble finding things or organizing myself, and I don’t forget or loose things as I used to. I feel, generally, in control of my attention and time management.

Repetitive behaviours, positive reinforcement strategies, therapy, excercise, and ayahuasca have been the enabling factors.