I was getting married to my psychotic, lying wife, when I suddenly realized I had forgotten to invite him to the wedding. I called him at his house but he was tripping balls on acid so he just ran right out and jumped on his motorcycle to get to the wedding. Unfortunately he got creamed by a truck on the way.

Hey that's not true...

Because animals are not disgusting.

Mamma mia! (Here I go again)

When I was a little kid some mornings I'd get into my parents bed. They had these thick brown curtains that blocked out all the light from the street below. At the top of the window where the two curtains intersected the light from the street was projected onto the ceiling and you could see everything going on down there. I used to lie there next to my mom, watching the projection and we'd point out "there goes a blue car", "there goes a yellow bus" etc. It was super cozy.

These water people really need to get a handle on things!

Probably don't show those off on a first date. Actually you should probably just get rid of them altogether before the FBI shows up.

At the bottom of a lake probably.

My dad had one of those. It outlived him.

Uh oh spaghetti-Os. Looks like it just broke under 4021. So now the world should end according to OP.

I'm afraid it's firmly attached to me 🗡️🧀💨

The spirit voices are fading. Reaching beyond the veil is difficult. You gotta allow his aura to accumulate more zenergy, before he can give you a precise forecast.

I usually never waste my time on outer space, but my horoscope told me I should try new things so...

We're too busy shitposting on WSB to notice that our homes are gone.