Thank you for the prompt, it was a pretty fun write

I blinked twice, my brow furrowing as I considered what exactly it was I was feeling. Was it confusion? No. That seemed like not enough somehow. Baffled was more like it. "What?'

"Don't do bad things anymore!" Was all she'd said before... well... leaving me alone in the ruins of what had once been a pretty nice lair. That was hours ago. This whole time, I'd just been standing there, trying to figure out what the hell had just happened.

"That's IT?" I shouted into emptiness, pulling chunks of hair from the sides of my head. Maybe this was the real punishment for my crimes; the total destruction of everything that I'd built and loved and a simple 'don't do bad things anymore'. I'd been mentally prepared for a few different outcomes- imprisonment, maiming, even death- but this? I think this was gonna be the thing to break me.

"Hey beloved, what's up?"

"Gonna need you to duck."

That was all the warning I'd received as... something crashed through the wall of my office, scattering dust, debris, and all of the paperwork that I'd painstakingly sorted through everywhere. I stared blankly, blinking twice as I tried to process the scene before me. Immediately I was filled with a deep sense of loss, seeing all of my hard work go to waste in a single moment, but as whatever had been thrown through the wall started to pull itself from the wreckage, I knew there were bigger things to worry about. "Did you do that?" I asked and the woman on the other end of the call chuckled.

"He did it to himself. I told him not to try the laser beam thing, but he did."

"Laser beam thing? What are you-"

"Luciel!" The now dust covered villain roared, his expression full of rage and malice as he marched toward the hole he'd been sent through.

"Handle that for me, won't you love? I'm nearly out of power.

"I doubt it." I growled and hung up, standing and loosening my tie with a frown. "Oi! Laserface!" I called out to the villain just as he was about to climb through the hole. He turned his attention to me and frowned, pointing a finger at me.

"YOU!" He shouted, apparently forgetting Luci for a moment to turn his wrath on me. "I still owe you from last time."

"You remember me? I'm touched." I say, grabbing the broken leg of what had once been a pretty comfortable chair and giving it a few test swings. "Then you know what comes next."

"Yeah, you-" He barely got a word in before I launched the chair leg directly at his face, catching him right in visor and cracking it, rendering his laser thing useless. He let out a cry and brought hands up to his face. "Neither of you fight fair!"

"You sound like a crybaby." I said with a sigh. "Maybe villainy isn't your thing man. You want a job?"