I would've responded (while in church), "Did you hear that angel speak?"

I remember in the mid 90's sitting down at some outdoor tables for lunch with a friend at a favorite burger joint. As we got our meals, my friend sat across for me at our table and we proceeded to chow down on some very tasty burgers and fries. While doing this, an older man holding a newspaper sits at a table behind my friend but in plain site for me. He proceeds to lift his right leg and pass a fart that I only best could describe as a GAU-8/A 30mm Avenger gatling cannon warming up for a pass on some T-90 tanks <burrrrrrrrrttttt>. First, my friend's face, without a spoken word was in total shock of what just occurred, second, his face grew to anger as he turned to this man and was opening his mouth to express his disdain while eating. The older man promptly excused himself, and turned back to his newspaper. I had a hard time trying to keep a straight face but knew respect was due. Right after he was notified that his 'to go' order was ready, the Avenger cannon was too, cleared hot (as I'm sure it was) rolled in 'to finish off the T-90's' and our appetites. Needless to say, strawberry shake flowed through my nose that day as did the laughter that followed. There was no apology on the Avenger's 'second pass', true story!

What!?! She told me it was a 'squeaky board' in the hallway???