“This is Bullshit!!!” I exclaimed as I slammed the door. Why does it always seem to be me?

I am nothing but a disappointment to my family. Being born a Larkspur, one of the oldest and most powerful of the Demonic families, meant there was a lot of pressure on me from a young age. My dad has killed 23 warlocks, finding weaknesses in their containment spells or contracts and getting revenge for their audacity in trying to control him. He is a legend. My mom doesn’t have as many kills (only 12), but she literally wrote the book on overcoming computer based protections. With two parents of such prestige, a powerful family, and graduating at the top of my class, everyone expected big things from me. But somehow my very first placement was enough to undo all that I had going for me.

Many demons just go about their life in the Inferno of Infinite Torment with no ambition beyond being comfortable and making it through the next day. But most of us want more. We want to be called forth to the other realms and make a name for ourselves. We have our name leaked into those other worlds so other beings can summon us. We want to be feared by those lesser life forms and prove our strength to our fellow Demons. I want those things. I need them.

But then it happened. Thanks to some incompetent (and now skinless) imp in Human Rendition, my true name was leaked instead of my chosen name. So now instead of being a terrifying beast from the Inferno I am fully within the control of a witch. A very young witch. A very young, very annoying witch. Before I made it out of the HR office I felt the itch behind my knees that signaled a summoning, and I was pulled away.

“SPARKLES!” the little nightmare shouted as I materialized into her plane of existence. I looked down and see that I am in a pink tutu, bright red clown shoes, and a bowtie. “Welcome back Sparkles, I missed you so much! We are having a tea party, but I need your help. The adults said we can’t have hot tea because it is dangerous. But they didn’t know I have a big spooky imaginary friend like you to keep me safe. Please warm up our tea, since everyone knows hot tea is way fancier and more better than cold tea.”

—--------------------------------------------------------------

“Doctor, do you ever think he will come out of it?” asked Mrs. Larkspur.

“I think not, for he is trapped in a prison within his own mind. We don’t know what prompted his psychosis, but at this point it seems to be self sustaining,” said the doctor.

They both walked out of the room together, leaving the big brown teddy bear screaming into the padded walls of his room, still wearing his pink tutu, bright red clown shoes, and bowtie. “Goodbye Sparkles, mommy loves you.” She then walked down the hallway, hardly hearing her son’s muffled screams about an itch behind his knee.

I like to think of Satan like Communism (as far as theory, not necessarily as practiced). Constantly trying to help everyone. He essentially gave humans access to knowledge and free will, he takes in all those that God failed, and tries to make the most of it. Meanwhile there is some rich powerful dude on the other side of infinity constantly ensuring that he fails.

I left it intentionally ambiguous, but with 3 potentials in mind.

1. He sentenced himself, and is stuck in an infinite loop of punishing himself.

2. The initial interaction was God's initial punishment of Lucifer, and he was given a Kingdom to rule. However, it was his own personal hell. He then punishes those he is given power over (which would essentially place him back in the place of being God's servant, by being the tool of God's Justice).

3. Each person going to Hell makes the same request, so they each just become part of Lucifer and are not special, making Lucifer and all that have come before even less special.

When my eyes opened I couldn’t remember anything. I didn’t know who I was, where I was, or why. It took a while for my mind to clear and remember, my old life was over. Who I was, what I accomplished, the people I loved, all gone. That was when I heard the voice from the darkness…

“You have chosen to shun the light of the lord! You wore sin like a badge of honor in your previous life. So now, in this place you will live the life of your choice, forever shielded from the light of heaven and grace. What life do you choose?”

At first I did not know what to say. For defying the wishes of some unjust God, I am given the life that I choose. I expected to be punished, tortured, or destroyed. But if my only punishment was to live without God’s light, which I already chose to live outside of, there are so many possibilities. 

I responded, “I want to be a God! I want to have power over others. I want them to desire and bathe in my divine light. I want to be all powerful, all knowing, and worshiped!” As soon as the words were gone from my mouth, everything changed. I saw lava and fire everywhere, so bright it was painful. I smelt sulfur and noxious fumes that made my nose burn. I felt the heat and started sweating profusely. This was not what I expected. This is not what I WANTED!!! 

I screamed for what felt like years, hoping that someone would answer. I hoped someone would come and give me a second chance. But there was no one there. No one to help me. No one to talk to. I was alone. Until one day, I opened my eyes into darkness. I saw a man in a business suit laying down in the middle of what felt like an infinite space. 

As the man awoke I said to him, “You have chosen to shun the light of the lord! You wore sin like a badge of honor in your previous life. I am Lucifer, your salvation. So now, in this place you will live the life of your choice, forever shielded from the light of heaven and grace. What life do you choose?”

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