Memorial Day. It's been 5 years since Blitz lost their life taking down Shrike.

We called them a supervillain, but that's just playing into the fantasy we should call them what they were- Shrike was a serial killer. Blitz had got caught on her barbed wire, but pushed anyway. People don't like to talk about the how, only that it was first and last act of true heroism this town has ever seen. It feels bad to sully his name, but I needed to make sure they'd show.

The dawn service started like every year. So when the mournful blare of the horns started looping, I wasn't met with the usual knowing smiles. People were first confused, then they booed and jeered. I was killing my own PR for this.

"Esteemed guests, I apologise for the rude interruption, but I assure you this was necessary. Please bare with me a moment, Eclipse Squad is likely being shaken out of bed by their handlers, we may have to wait for them to arrive."

"We're already here Dastardly! How dare you sully such an important day!".

I have to admit, their PR firm was good. Of course they got the kids out of bed for the dawn service photo ops.

Black fog rolled from Midnight's palm and... stopped.
Moonlights eyes lit up, but before they reached their crescendo, he froze.
Luna... had clearly been practicing. There was almost some speed to the chair she launched at me. It was almost at my face before it too froze. Then reversed, at speed. She froze mid-fall after it struck her.

The crowd stood eerily still, but that was more shock than anything I was doing.

"Eclipse Squad, Mayor, Citizens of this blighted city. You've laughed for years, and I've laughed along. This was my joke. But these IDIOTS hurt the group of teenagers I was supporting. The ones YOU FAILED. A broken system, filled with injustice, designed purely to funnel 'undesirable' characters out of the public eye, and into the cycle of incarceration. Do you know what the recidivism rate is? These kids could've been supported and done something with themselves but YOU-"

I jabbed an accusatory finger at the frozen heroes, sweeping it around the crowd to end on the mayor.

"YOU let a group of teenage kids beat on any 'delinquent' they find, then funnel them into a penal system that either breaks them, turns them into villains, or both. It's time the city had a real villain. Someone to scare the edgy teenagers straight, and to remind the heroes what villainy looks like, so they might think to go a little gentler the next time they're tempted to beat on a 15-year-old with a spray can!"

A hollow grin creeps across my face. Slowly, leisurely, I stroll over to the nearby fences, trimming the barbed wire from the top. But that's from my perspective.

To them, a blur of steel and costume streaks along the plaza. In a second Eclipse Squad is wrapped tightly together in barbed wire, unfrozen, but screaming in panic, and the beginnings of pain.

"Today, I am no longer DJ Dastardly. Today, I'm Shrike 2.0 - Remix."

[ParaSEC Target File, Threat Level: Lethal]

• S-Class Chronokinesis [Time-Stop, Looping, Short-Term Reversal.]
• S-Class Speedster Abilities.
• Target demonstrates a committed vendetta against the city and heroes in particular. Possesses a clear willingness to use lethal force for acts of cruelty. Preparation Required. DO NOT ENGAGE WITHOUT PRIOR AUTHORISATION.

[End File]

[ParaSEC Target File, Threat Level: Low]

• C-Class audiokinesis [Looping and pitch. No evidence of volume control]
• D-Class speedster abilities. [Slightly faster run speed. Potential sensory acuity - further evidence required]
• Target demonstrates propensity to use powers exclusively for show. All 'villainous' activity mundane in nature, possibly a publicity stunt. [Officially denied by all contacted PR agencies. IntOps priority low - pursue only if convenient during other activities]

[End File]

You know the problem with most villains?

Okay, trick question. There's no one problem with them, usually it's the egomania, or psychopathy, or the tunnel-vision. I used to say that they lacked flair, but some of them have a decent sense of drama with those capes. The real problem? They lack fun.

Not Jester's knife-wielding jack-in-the-box fun, but something that makes life genuinely enjoyable in itself. Sadism doesn't count. That's why I'm different, I'm not here to crush the world in my iron grasp, or to torture the world. I'm a villain for kicks.

Welcome to the world of DJ Dastardly.

Do you know how hard it is to give yourself a silly name as a villain? I had to fight months of media calling me things like 'Remix'. It's hard to scaremonger around someone with a silly name, they conveniently left out footage of my preferred moniker spraypainted everywhere for MONTHS. It was only once some kids posted it on social media that they were forced to give in. After that, I was Page 17 material at best.

I'm a heist-villain. Low level stuff- museums, science fairs, that one time I nabbed the mayor's statue at town hall. High visibility, low impact. That's my game, and my 'nemeses'... Well, let's just say the same goes for them too.

I've got a lot of respect for Eclipse Squad's PR team. It takes a creative mind to look at a human strobe light, a gothic fog machine, and a B-class telekinetic ("but DJ, she can fly!". She floats, and can make other things float. I'm shaking in my very fashionable boots) and give them some damn good branding.

So, here's the score (and believe me, I know scores)- You're somewhere public, but with oddly good acoustics. Someone takes a step, and it echoes a little bit too much. Then again. It starts looping- no one's walking anywhere, but now there's a tok-tok-tok of a 4/4 beat. I used to always have to say the name myself, but nowadays if I'm lucky someone else guesses first.

DJ-DJ-DJ-DJ-DJ D-D-D-Dastardly! (they only say it the once, the effect is all me).

From there, you're all part of the performance. Every step, noise, gasp, and laugh? It goes in the soundtrack. I'm a one-man-acapella/percussion looping pedal, and the audience? They're starting to like me. Turns out security guards find it really hard to focus when everything they do gets looped into a live performance. I'm there taking a bow at the item-du-jour, and Eclipse Squad roll in. Midnight's black fog blocks my camera angle, Moonlight tries to stun me with a flare (come on kid, I'm in a cloud of black smoke, think about it.), then Luna tries to knock me over the head with some slow-moving object. I throw them a bone "Damnit Eclipse Squad! You've foiled me again! But I'll be back for an encore!", and slip out the back.

All fun and games, honestly a great way to spend an afternoon, not to mention boost listens on my soundcloud! Until it got serious.

Turns out strobe-boy moonlights as a wannabe hacker (I'm not sorry). Tracked my IP to the little music studio I run. The one with the music program to keep delinquent kids off the streets.

They roll up in full-costume, see some kid that they'd knocked around for graffiti before and decide that this is DJ Dastardly's gang lair, and that the kids are my 'henchmen'. Eclipse Squad might be idiots, but as it turns out, when faced with blinding smoke and flashing lights, a lot of teenagers panic. Now imagine an enclosed space with a bunch of panicking teenagers who can't see.

3 concussions, one broken leg, 6 cases of PTSD. I'm just thankful Eva had detention, I don't want to know if Moonlight's power could've triggered her epilepsy.

I'm protective of my kids. They've had a bad run, and I was trying to show them a way out of the system. The injuries were one thing, but because they found a little weed on him, Jim's going back to juvie. That was the last straw.

Fantastically written