As a white guy, I've had some amusing experiences in Irvington, to be honest. I recall buying a bean pie off very confused Farrakhan devotee once. Was randomly hit me up for cash, because all white guys are rich. Once someone offered to help me get home; I must have been lost.

> after many conversations with stakeholders

What is a "stakeholder" in this context? Folks who may need an abortion? Did you really talk to half the fucking state? No one I know heard from you.

This is a jaded calculation to run on the threat again and everyone who gets hurt in the meantime can take comfort in the perpetual "strong consideration" and waiting for an "appropriate time."

This is such a Colorado thing that whenever I see it in NJ I'm like, "dude, wtf are you doing here? Go freeze your knees off in the Rockies."

Any wooded area should be fine. Such critters like to hide under leaves and eat small fuzzy woodland creatures.

Semi related: I always relocate garden groundhogs to golf courses. Not only do I think it's a more posh neighborhood, it makes me think of Caddyshack and amuses me greatly.

Wildwood / Cape May wants a word.