I had it wrong in how it works, and TheSkiGeek is right. It's an federal program that my wife employer has opted in. Works like an FSA. It's at least worth checking if its available, and if not ask for it to be.

Sarcasm aside, ever little bit does help, and I'll take anything I can find.

https://dpath.com/dependent-care-account-is-it-right-for-you/#:~:text=Annual%20contribution%20limits,of%20your%20paycheck%20before%20taxes.

Yeah getting pricing is awful.

Greater Boston area, we pay 2500/mo for our 1year old at a home day care (5day/week). I think the cheapest we found around us was 1950/mo for an infant, and it can be much higher than we are paying.

But don't worry Massachusetts helps by allowing you to pay up to 5k a year with pre tax money...