One other thing, for me it had proven impossible to moderate. Stopping entirely worked. (I say “stop” instead of “quit” because it seemed less daunting to me….) Once I had the first drink, my brain could always convince me that one more drink was a great idea. Always. I called my brain my enemy during that time. “Deciding not to decide” was my mantra. I had decided that I would not make a decision later about whether or not to drink. I knew at night my brain would start trying to convince me that drinking one night wasn’t so bad, I’d already gone without for so long. I knew it was going to happen so I decided in advance that there was no choice to be made. I used basically IFTTT: If my brain is saying This, then I will say/do That. If my brain is saying “I’m all keyed up, I need to relax,” then I will respond with very specific premeditated plans: “I will text my mom. I will wash my face. I will do a face mask. I will watch this one reality show that I only watch when I’m feeling like this.” Ideally, it would be a That that is reinforcing or some sort of self-care or a treat. I think it’s totally fine (although I can only speak for my situation) to have a bowl of ice cream with all the toppings when your brain is telling you it would be such a great idea to have a drink. Treat yourself during this time. Your brain WILL require itself once you teach it that these urges will be responded to with different behavior. Once you establish a new routine—and undoubtedly it can take a while, even if your “routine” wasn’t super consistent—the intrusive thoughts become less relevant and they will slow down until they stop. I’m still shocked that I just forget about alcohol altogether for weeks if not months.

I replaced alcohol at night with way too much Amazon shopping, and then switched to doing face masks/skin care. After a while, that got old but by that time I had broken the alcohol habit and my brain was no longer my mortal enemy/under the chemical spell of alcohol so I could do whatever.