The pumpkin decorating the burned out front porch is top tier comedy.

Better internet would attract people with advanced degrees who can work remotely. Unsurprisingly, most of them don't want to move to the dying rural areas though. New companies or industries would also help, and would provide jobs for skilled tradespeople who don't necessarily have college degrees... But the high costs of energy and long transportation distances make that unlikely on a meaningful scale.

We already have the technology to remove PFAS. Another method is good, but I will remain skeptical until they can demonstrate at full scale. This sounds a lot like the articles that say there is a new cure for a disease, and we never see it come to fruition.

From the EPA: "It is currently known that three treatment processes can be effective for PFAS removal: granular activated carbon, ion exchange resins, and high-pressure membrane systems. The optimal choice between these technologies is a balance between many factors."

Ah yes, how could I forget about the sea-faring bald eagles, the well-known sign of land for ships heading to the Maine coast... No gulls here, no sir.

Oh gosh, I forgot about those dang lobster powered power generating plants that will go out of business and leave the windmills to sweep in.