"Fuck this job. Fuck everything." I said as I stormed out. Got in my truck, stopped at the bar grabbed a 12 pack, and started my drive home. Texted my friends about going out to the bar tonight. No one responded. I finished the last beer as I was pulling up to my apartment.

At my apartment I had about 36 beers and a bottle of vodka. I started drinking the vodka straight up while smoking cigarettes. I didn't even turn the TV on. When the bottle was empty I was drunkest I have ever been. I went to the bathroom just peed in the tub because I knew there was no way I was hitting the toilet. I stared at myself in mirror. It was the first time that I remembered actually looking at myself in a mirror. "Look at you. You fucking loser. You just drank a bottle alone. The only thing you talked to was the squirrel in the wall and yourself. You're pathetic. You fucking drunk loser."

I stormed out if the bathroom. I start walking upstairs to pass out. I slip and fall on the steps. I go to get up. I can't I'm too drunk. I wedge my foot in the banister and pass out on the stairs.

When I came to about two hours later, I realized that was the first time I had never gotten up. I finally picked my ass up and crawled upstairs. The mirror in the hallway had a different face than earlier. This was the face of a defeated person. I just looked into his eyes and said "Hey man we're all we got. Sorry about earlier. I'll never give up again."

OP hope you're ok.

Thanks

Hell is stranger than I could ever imagine. I have lived thousands of lives mostly as animals for 24 hours. Then the most astounding thing occurred.

I wake up next to a beautiful woman. We're both naked, she starts to rub my arm and says "No, don't go yet." She looks vaguely familiar to me but I can't place her face to a name.

"I have to go." Whoever I'm in leans over and gives a kiss and walks into the bathroom. I'm my dad. I see my dad's face looking back at me from the mirror.

I start sobbing. He died when I was ten. We walk out to his old blue Ford Bronco. The memories of that truck flood my brains. Riding to the beach with the roof off, mom's hair blowing in the wind. Then it dawns on me that woman wasn't my mom. The next thing after the twenty minute drive home with the radio blasting was walking into our house.

Little ten year old me runs up "Daddy! You're home." I wrapped my arms around his neck. The emotions I'm feeling now are a sea of confusion. Anger for his infidelity, but joy at the same time because I remember that last day with him.

"Yes, ma'am had to race the sunrise to get here before you left for school. We're gonna play hookey today. Go get dressed I got something I want to show you." Ten year old me takes off racing up the stairs.

"Bill he can't miss school today. He has a big test." My mom says.

"It's okay Claire. Life is full of crappy test days today is a beautiful spring day and I have a big surprise for you too. Now quick go get dressed I have something I want to show you." He smacked my mom's ass as she walked by him. I could feel my dad's emotions. It was different when I was a chicken, turkey, or cow. Their were emotions felt more like butterflies from being afraid of every noise my dad's butterflies were from the excitement he had pent up keeping this secret. I knew what was coming it was the best and worst day of my life. I figured despite everything I just found out about him being unfaithful I'm going to enjoy this day from his side getting to watch me enjoy it.

We drove the hour to the lake and sitting in the marina was a twenty six foot boat. We had a great day on the water. The part where he let me drive the boat with his hands off the steering wheel I got to remember that feeling from when I was a kid and when I looked down as him I felt a good mix of pride and pleasure because he too knew what it felt like taking control of the boat as a child. He felt so strong about this moment I almost could see his memory with my grandfather. My mom was laughing and smiling the whole time. He looked at his family with total love in his heart. He really did love us. The next part after boat I don't remember because I was asleep on the ride home.

"Bill how are we going to afford this? Please tell me you just rented it for the day."

"Claire I told you a new company started using us for shipping into the city. I'm getting paid twice as much. It'll be fine and I promise if at any time money even feels a little tight the boat is gone. But you gotta admit he had a great day today. Way better than some stupid test." Mom just stared at my dad. My dad offered my mom his hand and she took it and they held hands and talked the whole ride home. My dad and mom really loved each other.

After we got home my dad laid down to get sleep. It's weird dreaming when you're alive let alone when you're possessing someone else for the day. It was in this dream that I had a moment to talk to my dad. We were on the boat again just sitting tied up to the dock.

"Damn Mike you grew up fast. It seems like earlier today that I first brought you on this boat."

"Dad listen tonight at work you're going die." I said

"Mikey don't worry about me I drive a truck forty miles round trip. I have the safest job in the world. But how did you get so big so fast."

"Dad this is important don't go to work today."

"Mikey I know this is just a dream but I like seeing you all grown up. You look real good." A light turned on the dashboard of the boat and a buzzing noise started. I realized in this moment I had something that I wanted my whole life since that day. I stood up walked over and hugged him. Squeezed him in this dream so tight he couldn't get up. Tears were running down my face.

"Dad, I love you so much. I missed you so much. I also want you to know, I know you cheated on mom but I forgive you please promise me you'll tell her tomorrow." I could feel the dream weakening. There was a constant buzzing sound and we're awake. It was ten p.m. My dad got up looked at my mom

"Honey, I have som.." He broke off talking. I could feel his inner conflict. "Honey I love you." He leaned over my mom in bed gave her a big kiss. Walked out the door and climbed into the Bronco.

As we're stopped at a red light on the way to the lot where my dad keeps his truck, a car rearends us. Not hard just a soft tap. It's late and there's no other cars. My dad gets out and walks back to ther car. I can feel his anger but also his compassion. "Are you all right?" He asks.

" Yeah I'm fine." The man steps out of his car. I feel guilt and a little bit if fear. I can almost recognize him. "Listen I'm sorry about this I spilled my coffee lost concentration and bam. This is totally my fault." The man sticks out his hand apologetically. My dad reaches out clasps his hand and went to say something and then my dad looks down a needle in his arm. Grogginess sets in. We stumble and fall. The guy loads us into the backseat of his car. We blackout. This time instead of a dream world I'm just trapped in a dark ether.

My dad wakes up strapped to a table. Next to him is the woman from earlier. She's been beaten severely, almost unrecognizable. There's a familiar smell in the air. Meat. Her face from earlier I just realized who she was. She worked at the butcher shop near my dad's truck yard. The man was the butcher. He wasted little to no words. My dad bled out quickly. When he was dying I could feel his emotions. He was sad he wasn't going to see me grow. He was sad he didn't tell Claire the truth. And he hoped the adult version of me he saw in his dream was how I turned out because I seemed to be a good honest man.

The icky blackness of death again surrounded me. It then occurred to me that the chickens and cows were all animals that I ate. The cops only found my father's head on a stake in the park. My dad's friend the day of the funeral brought us a tray of roast beef from my dad's favorite place to grab lunch.

I wake up a woman naked laying in bed looking at my dad.