And ole Kev's butthole puckered up real tight because up until that moment, he didn't actually believe there were others in the government in cahoots with the nutbags who wanted to execute him on the lawn.

Did you ever tell her that you liked her because her look is kind of masculine? Because somehow I don't think that's a sentiment she'd approve of either.

Is she "bad" for making fun of your porn use? I mean it's kind of dickish, but I'm not sure what else you expected from uppity church folk.

I can't tell if you're agreeing with me or playing whataboutism. Maybe try fewer pronouns.

Republicans: unironically endorsing child marriages if it will net them votes.

"Remember, it's not pedophilia if the parents are OK with it!" - Republicans, probably

Is that some home-grown Indian racism? Because I don't know that word as anything but a dessert.

He is a fairly successful cult leader at this point, and we all know how that sort of thing tends to pan out.

Nauseating.

So nobody sees the downside of living in a society that's having technology streamline literally every industry to the tune of phasing out a ton of human workers and still expecting every human being to only have worth if they work a job? Just me? OK then.

The least fucked-up fuck up I've ever read. Why would she be upset by a hypothetical conversation you've literally never tried to capitalize on the entire time you've known her?

It's not, that's why I quit after a handful of hours.

Your first and biggest fuck-up was deciding chips and salsa is a movie and/or sexy time snack. What the actual fuck?

Homey thinking that hymen came back in force lol.

You're born to blood, nobody picks blood. You do choose your own family though, I firmly believe that. Those assholes calling themselves your parents may be blood, but family doesn't do each other like that.

I hope you get out soon, good luck OP.

Yeah, don't ever listen to other people's interpretations of your own social interactions. Unless it's someone they're intimately familiar with, they have no idea what's "written on her face" or if your behavior would or does make her genuinely uncomfortable. You did the right thing just asking her.

The worst fucking movie I've ever seen is Poultrygeist. Do with that what you will.

Sounds like you knocked it out of the park, I kept waiting for a fuck up that never materialized. If anything, you fucked up by providing the weapon with which your father is killing your mother's innocence.

It's not "the only reason you're with her", yeah? Presumably if you'd gone out with her and found her a repulsive bore you would've worked up the nerve to probably ghost her, and you've since found many reasons why she's worth being with, right? Maybe stop phrasing it like "the only reason I'm with you is you're scary and I said yes" and instead try "the only reason I first started dating you is you're scary and I said yes, but I'm glad I did now because it gave me the chance to discover (insert all the ways you love her and she makes you happy now)". Phrasing, bud. It always comes down to phrasing.

Everybody masturbates, only religious nutjobs will give you shit about it. The average person literally doesn't care. Getting real tired of these "TIFU because someone discovered I'm a sexual being" posts.

This is the one I came looking for.

And a bouquet is just a big bundle of plant dicks.

Weird flex on your girlfriend's part for obvious reasons everyone else has touched on, but gatekeeping queerness for any reason is uber cringe. Especially if you're just doing a bisexual erasure by being an ignorant ass.

Your GF obviously has some trust issues. And honestly, if she's going to make it your problem and fuck with you over something you weren't even thinking about doing instead of communicating and trusting you like a well adjusted person, then maybe you're better off without a girlfriend. I know I wouldn't put up with this crap.

It's fucking absurd this needs to be said out loud. Fucking social media is cancer.

Your parents are cavernous assholes and who gives a single shit what their feelings or opinions are. You shouldn't. Gotta give respect to get respect, so no respect for disrespectful dickheads.

Hey dipshits! If you want the population to stop protesting, maybe stop murdering them in the street like assholes.