damndirtycracker
damndirtycracker t1_j2ft4xt wrote
Reply to What is your greatest accomplishment? by Johnnyvezai
Fine. I’ll go take a shower and get ready
damndirtycracker t1_j2fszx9 wrote
Reply to It’s New Year’s Eve, why are you at home? by michal2287
I’m 46, it’s my day off, and there is a lot of alcohol here already.
damndirtycracker t1_j2frorf wrote
Reply to Who’s the biggest cunt you know and why are you still friends with them? by come_sing_with_me
Me. Lobotomies look painful.
damndirtycracker t1_j2fnbk6 wrote
Get drunk with my best friend and go to bed before midnight.
damndirtycracker t1_j2fn82w wrote
Reply to What joke has been done to death? by Dragonceratops
“See you next year.”
damndirtycracker t1_j2fmjan wrote
That salsa and avocados does NOT equal guacamole
damndirtycracker t1_j2fjt9p wrote
Making it out alive
damndirtycracker t1_j2fg2ir wrote
Reply to ELI5 why Vaseline doesn't give me face acne but simply resting my head on my pillow does? by Diligent_Jury_9956
I change my sheets once a week but change my pillowcases every other day. Did it touch my face? In the wash it goes.
damndirtycracker t1_j2fvmoy wrote
Reply to What’s the biggest “bitch move” someone’s pulled on you or someone you know? by 2PacTookMyLunchMoney
Called ethics and said a bunch of lies trying to get me fired.
I’m still here, bish. Where are you? Oh, that’s right. You quit before the company fired you for abusing the corporate card.