Technically it had “dragons.” Victorianish setting and the dragons were all walking around shape changed into people but it was 100% a historical romance. I got really frustrated before I figured out what was happening because I wanted to know more about the dragons and the shape changing and the lore and whatnot. The cover was a solid color with a gold dragon in a circle eating its own tail. It really had the feel of some publisher going “You know what women like? Dragons!” And then forcing the author to make it dragon-y.

I absolutely do. These covers aren’t random. Someone paid a fair bit of money to create a cover that entices the target audience. I guess I should say I absolutely did but they have started doing fantasy covers for romance novels that have a thin veneer of fantasy. If you put a dragon on the cover it should be a book about dragons not a book that inexplicably has two main characters banging in a doorway out of nowhere.

This has occasionally backfired. Elizabeth Moon is awesome and her covers always looked terrible to me. But this also means that deep in the pandemic I had a whole new author with a nice back catalog to read.

In a general way, I check the cover, I see who they got to give blurbs, I read the back (this is often less helpful than the first two). If I was wrong and I would have liked it, someone whose taste I respect will mention it later and I’ll give it a go. But there are more books published than any one person would ever have time to read. So if I miss a couple, oh well.

You start with the one with the best hats.*

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*Go Dog Go by PD Eastman

In the beginning of Life, the Universe, and Everything there’s a really good bit about Arthur deciding today was the day he’d go mad and finding himself chasing a Chesterfield sofa across a prehistoric field shortly after. I don't know your dad but there’s a lot of room for analogies and loving silliness with this passage. I’m sorry you are having to do this.