thank you for being so kind. all I can do is keep trying, and I will keep trying. "a setback! nothing more!"

the thing is, he really /wasn't/ mad. I assumed he was,but he wasn't. he told me to come to bed an hour later and we're fine now. he was just understandably upset and needed a little time to cool off/process. i have exes who would have reacted violently to that and who I would not have been honest with about this situation out of fear.

I would absolutely do this if it wasn't a controlled substance that requires id to grab. maybe I will bring him along with me to get it and just immediately hand it over on our way home or something.

I think that may be something worth exploring for me. I will let her know about it. :)

thank you. I agree. I think I should be honest with her about what happened and tell her that I want to explore medication options with less potential for abuse. hopefully what you say is true and no grippy sock vacation will ensue. my only real gripe with that is not being able to be away from work.

does AH mean asshole? I was just sharing this story on today I fucked up. I wasn't really asking a question just sharing my screw up. but I mean, I will say that I am an asshole. I sure do feel like one. he has every right to be pissed and/or disappointed in me for this. I don't think I want to take them at all again for a long time :/ I'm mad at myself for having such little self control and for even having the thought to begin with. idk. talking to my doctor is the option here. I want to see if there are meds available with less abuse potential that will help me instead of these.