"Wakey wakey, you barbaric fuck."

Luguselwa's eyes fluttered open and darted around the room as he asked, "Where am I?"

I approached from behind and spun around the chair he was tied to. "Oh, I'd say this is somewhere between the fifth and sixth rings of Hell. I'm not so arrogant as to declare this the ninth, after all."

Luguselwa glared at me. "Who the hell are you?"

"Name's Bivolvo. I work for a certain group you're rather well acquainted with."

"Bleeding Edge."

I patted Lu on the head as I replied, "Top of the class there, friend. Now, I imagine you thought the consequences of your actions were behind you once the others escaped your little torture camp. I'm all too happy to dissuade you from that notion. Very happy."

Lu smirked at me as he fired back, "Oh, you stupid little street rat. I have the best personal security detail money can buy. The second they find you, you're getting tossed into a hole and buried alive."

"Look to your right."

Lu humored my request, at which point his smirk disappeared instantly. Scattered along the wall were the remains of Lu's prized security team, their blood drying on every surface. Two of them were slumped against a wall with their skin from sternum to forehead flayed off, one was hanging from the ceiling by a barbed wire noose, another was split in half, and the remaining four were nothing but a massive pile of raw flesh clumped together in front of a meat grinder. Lu promptly threw up on himself as I deadpanned, "Oh yeah, you really got your money's worth with those assholes."

Lu stared at me in abject horror. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

I pressed my switchblade against his throat and hissed, "No no no no no no, you don't get to ask that of me. Especially not when you had my crew, my friends, held captive and subjected to things that would've gotten somebody fired from the fucking CIA. Those people took me in when the rest of the world told me to do everyone a favor and kill myself. And you slammed their heads against death's door to get what you wanted out of them."

As Lu looked like he was pissing himself, I abruptly put away the switchblade and picked up a case that was laying next to Lu's chair. I popped it open and pulled out an emergency flare as I looked at Lu with a stoic expression and said, "You know, they say in the realm of the blind, the one-eyed man is king."

"No, no, please don't--"

I forced Lu's eyelid up and ignited the flare. "You ready to find out how a commoner lives, friend?"

It was a prompt about two princesses and two knights, half of which were dragons. It was destined to turn into a polycule

"I'd like to say I've been in weirder situations, but I really haven't."

I sheathed my sword as the silver dragon retracted her claws. I looked over the entrance to the tower and said, "Alright, clearly there's something else going on here, so I vote we cooperate long enough to figure things out and get our respective princesses back. So, truce?"

The dragon grunted. "Fine, truce. My name's Kala, by the way."

I bowed and responded back, "Captain Catherine of the royal guard. Now come on. If your princess was taken too, the guilty party likely expects you to fly up to the top. We'll take the stairs. Hopefully, they're only prepared for one of us to be coming up that way."

Kala nodded and crouched down as a cloud of smoke with a metallic scent surrounded her. Once it dissipated, Kala was now bearing the form of a woman with golden hair and piercing green eyes. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Oh crap, you're hot."

I clamped a hand over my mouth as Kala blushed bright red and awkwardly said, "We, uh...we should get going." I nodded and opened up the door for the both of us. Thankfully, the awkwardness faded quickly as Kala and I fell into a conversation that lasted us the entire trek to the top. Once it dawned on us that we hadn't encountered a single trap since we got here, we readied up for a fight.

Kala broke down the door and I presented my sword, only for the both of us to stop and stare in confusion at the sight before us. Spread out across the ground was a picnic blanket weighed down with sandwiches, fruit, a charcuterie board, a bottle of wine, and macarons. Pouring the wine into glasses was Princess Lucille and a woman who I assume was the dragon princess Morrigan. Morrigan beamed and cried out, "Kala, you made it!" As Kala went in to hug Morrigan, I sheathed my sword again and asked, "Uh, what's going on?"

Lucille giggled and handed me a glass. "It's a date, silly!"

Kala abruptly pulled away from Morrigan and replied, "What?"

Morrigan kissed Kala on the cheek. "Backstory time! So, me and Lucille have been friends since that inter-kingdom meeting, and when I told her you and I were thinking about adding other people to our relationship, she had the idea of putting together all this for a nice little date!"

I tilted my head in confusion. "Okay, but, why did you drag me into this if you just wanted you just wanted some time with your dragon girlfriend and potential human girlfriend?"

Lucille cracked up but stopped when she saw my expression. "My God, you're serious. Cathy, I've been in love with you for nine years."

"No seriously, what's the--mmmmmph!"

Lucille cut me off by yanking me into a passionate kiss. Once I was allowed to come up for air, I ended up spilling my wine as I said, "Okay, I think I believe you now."

Lucille dragged me down onto the blanket and pushed me up against Morrigan. "Now you two get to know each other while me and Kala get acquainted."

And so, we talked, flirted, and ate the rest of the day away, thoroughly enjoying each other's company.

THEY MADE A VOW, THEIR MOTHER WILL BE FOUND!

An oni is a type of yokai recognizable by their horns, red skin, and preference for large clubs for weaponry

When I woke up, Helen wasn't laying next to me. As I got out of bed, I called out, "Honey? Where'd you go?"

"I'm in the living room!"

I stretched out as I slipped out from under the covers and left the bedroom. I was mid-yawn when I saw what was on the couch, which led to me nearly choking on my own tongue in shock. Draped over the couch, loveseat, and rug was a cherry red dragon, with massive wings and no limbs save for the swishing tail at the end of their body. The dragon grinned and said to me, "Good morning, Chelsea! You sleep okay?"

"Wh--Helen?! What is--what is happening right now?!"

"Um, it's what we...talked about last night, remember?"

"Last night?! But all we talked about was--" I stopped once it dawned on me: "Wyrm. You said wyrm, not worm."

Helen cringed slightly. "Ohhhh, I forgot to clarify what kind of wyrm I was referring to. I'm sorry. But, um, yeah, this is the real me. And if this is too much for you--"

"Whoa whoa whoa, are you kidding me? Honey, I love you like apples love peanut butter. And you could be any kind of DND monster you can think of, you're a nat 20 in every which way."

Helen giggled and replied, "Thanks, my lovely little geek."

I grinned mischievously as I walked over to her. "Besides, you're not the only one with a mythical secret."

"What are you talking abou--Oh my goodness!!"

With the faintest shadow of effort on my part, I lifted Helen into a bridal carry. As her wings flared out over us like an umbrella, I remarked, "You know, you're actually lighter than I expected."

"Chelsea, how the hell are you doing this?!"

"Come on, hon, it never struck you as odd that I'm almost eight feet tall? Or that I keep a kid-size baseball bat under the bed?"

Helen used her wings to shrug. "I mean, I was never one to complain about you being huge, and the bat was autographed, so..."

I chuckled and responded, "Yeah, the bat's not actually autographed. It's not even a bat in the first place; it's actually a cudgel I had disguised as one."

"Why do you have a cudgel?"

With a smile, I willed my own disguise to fade away. My skin changed to a dark red, my hair to a stark white, and my eyes to an almost sickly yellow. Once my transformation was complete, I looked into Helen's eyes and said, "Cause no oni worth their salt goes anywhere without one."

gasp Ariadne!

Dionysus?

It's okay. They'll just reform in Tartarus and escape back to Earth where they'll be taken in by another lesbian couple

"Mom, what is it I actually...do?"

Mom took a break from tending to the fire to look at me and ask, "What do you mean, Brandy?"

I stuck another marshmallow on my skewer before replying, "I mean, what are my divine gifts, if I even have any? Like, the other demigods can eat fire or turn into giraffes or whatever. So what can I do?"

Mom sighed and looked up at the tree canopy overlooking us with a smile. As I pulled my marshmallow back and shoved it in my mouth, she answered, "Well, that's a bit of a story, pumpkin, and I can't think of any better place for it than around the campfire. It all goes back to the vow on the River Styx that I made to Zeus, that I would remain a virgin, unmarried and childless.

"Of course, over the centuries, I grew tired of it all. I spent centuries watching Zeus and the other gods run around and force themselves on women, more often than not cheating on their spouses in the process. Combine that with me noticing the hypocrisy in none of the male gods being ordered to remain virgins, and I started looking for a way out of my predicament. And eventually, I found somebody who was all too keen on helping me do so."

From behind us, someone responded, "Well, it is my vocation to make a mess of things." I turned around to see another woman in a dark blue chiton with a basket full of yellow apples and her hair done up in a long French braid strolling towards us. The woman kissed my mom on the cheek and turned to me. "Hello Brandy. I'm your other mom, Eris."

I tilted my head in confusion. "Eris? The goddess of discord?"

Hestia wrapped her arms around Eris as the latter answered, "The one and only. Hestia and I started dating in secret in order to defy Zeus, and before we knew it, you popped into our lives. Of course, we had to place you with a mortal family to keep Zeus from finding you."

"But...mom, didn't you swear on the River Styx? Doesn't breaking that warrant divine punishment?"

Hestia giggled. "Oh, indeed it does. And that is where your gifts come in." Before I could press her for an explanation, Eris let out a whistle so loud and shrill, it would've brought every cab driver in New York City to an instant halt. From the woods, a group of hellhounds charged out from the thicket and lunged at me.

But nothing happened. The pack was suspended in mid-air like they were puppets that had gotten tangled up in their strings. As the hellhounds slowly disintegrated into golden dust, Eris slung her arm around my shoulder and said, "From the moment you were born, no harm has befallen you or the ones you care for. Nothing that could kill or irreversibly hurt anyone within your circle of friends and family, be it mythological or mundane, can touch you."

"For you, dearest Brandy," Hestia continued, "Are the goddess of sanctuary, shelter, and found family. And among the Olympians, who have gone to war with one another over petty familial rivalries, there is no greater power."

"I can't do this anymore, okay? I cannot fucking do this anymore."

I skated around the room as I chuckled at Sex Bomb. "Aw come on! You always had more patience for my bullshit than--"

"I love you, Flurry."

"What?!" Bomb's words rattled me so thoroughly, I accidentally ran into a wall. As I collected my bearings, Sex Bomb started walking over to me. When I saw she had dropped her trusty rocket launcher Baby Doll, I realized she was being completely serious--she practically had that thing chained to her hip.

"I said I love you, Flurry. You're brave and funny and kind and beautiful. And I can't keep putting myself in a position where I risk hurting or even killing you. I--I know you'll never return my feelings, but--"

Before I even knew what I was doing, I blurted out, "I love you too!"

Sex Bomb went wide eyed at my interruption. "You do?"

I got on my feet and held her hands. "I do! I've had a crush on you since we met. Hell, I didn't even know I liked girls until I met you! It's just... I didn't think you'd believe me if I told you. I'm not exactly known for being serious, after all."

Sex Bomb pressed her forehead against mine affectionately. "Of course I would have believed you."

I let out a joyful giggle as Sex Bomb and I kissed. When we broke apart, she whispered to me, "You taste like mint chip ice cream. I love mint chip."

Suddenly, a baritone voice from above us called out, "I really shouldn't have to say it, but I am not okay with any part of this."

We looked up to see my partner Snow Angel tied to the railing on the upper level and his wing pack hanging from the ceiling covered in pink spray paint. I rolled my eyes and responded, "You're not my dad, and even if you were, that wouldn't give you the right to dictate who I go out with!"

"She's a criminal!"

Sex Bomb flipped him off and fired back, "Yeah, but I'm a criminal who's still legally entitled to partaking in the Returners Rehabilitation Program, which I will be joining by the end of the night!"

Snow Angel scoffed, but couldn't get a word in before I gave him an ice gag. "And I will gladly be her sponsor in these endeavors." I then turned to Sex Bomb to say, "Now, whaddya say we get some Italian for dinner?"

"Yes, please!"

Thank you so much!

"So, you're not fucking with us here?"

Millie, Jules and I were sitting all around the living room, having a staredown with a woman who we initially thought was the pizza guy when she knocked on the door. She was wearing a dress that seamlessly flowed between shades of purple and orange, with white in the middle. Running down her arms and braided into her fiery red hair were flowers of all colors. The woman shook her head and replied, "What I say to you is the truth: I am indeed Dykhe, goddess of sapphic love and patron of all queer women. And I am here to reward my most loyal followers!"

Jules looked at me with a flat expression and remarked, "Chelsea, I don't want to hear you call your art bad ever again. You literally drew something to life."

A month ago, the three of us made up our own deity after Millie bungled the name of the actual Greek goddess Tyche into Dykhe. We made up a whole origin story and associated myths once we were through cackling like maniacs. Eventually, we were thanking her when things went our way, praying for her protection, and leaving tributes on a makeshift shrine on the counter. It was all in good fun--and now Dykhe was sitting on our loveseat.

Millie raised her hand and asked, "Uh, when you say you want to reward us, what exactly is your definition of reward?"

Dykhe giggled. "Why, making your wildest fantasies come true, of course!"

Millie nodded tentatively. "So, if I were to wish for two sugar mommy dom girlfriends, you would--"

POOF!

A cloud of pink smoke popped up around Millie and dissipated. As it did, we saw that she was now sitting between two older women in matching red turtlenecks who had wrapped their arms around her and began nuzzling her. Millie alternated between looking at her girlfriends and Dykhe in astonishment. "This--this has to be fake, right? We took some edibles and now we're hallucinating?"

The older woman with blonde hair cupped Millie's face and kissed her as the dark-skinned woman purred, "Kitten, you are just too damn cute sometimes." Once Millie was allowed to come up for air, she dazedly sighed and let out a string of attempted words that I think was supposed to be "Thank you mommy." Dykhe then turned her attention to me and Jules with a cheery, "See? Just like that! Now, what do you want, my disciples?"

Jules looked around the room awkwardly. "Uh, I don't know if--"

I jumped out of my seat before Jules could finish her sentence. "I wanna be a seven foot tall muscle queen with a cosplay-loving bunny girlfriend!"

POOF!

The pink smoke appeared around me this time. As it faded, I had the physique I had asked for: beautifully toned muscles from my thighs all the way up to my shoulders, complete with a six pack. As I flexed and struck a few poses, I heard the door to the apartment open and a voice cry out, "BABYYYY!" A woman covered in white fur with a pair of bunny ears sticking out the top of her head launched herself at me. I caught her on instinct as she began kissing me wildly. "I missed you soooo much! But oh my God, the convention was awesome! I can't wait to tell you all about it!"

I smiled and responded, "And I can't wait to hear all about it, princess." I then looked over at Jules and said to her, "C'mon Jules, just do it. There's gotta be something you want, right?"

Jules gulped and looked at Dykhe, whose smile just wouldn't fade. She tugged on the collar of her shirt before saying, "Alright, fine. But I don't want judgement from any of you. Dykhe, I wish... I wish I was married to a cute, chubby woman with a pitbull, two kittens, and a kid on the way."

POOF!

When the pink smoke cleared out, Jules was now visibly pregnant and sitting on the lap of a woman with orange streaks dyed into her hair. The woman sighed happily as she rested her hand on Jules swollen belly. At her feet, a black pitbull was snoozing the day away with a pair of orange kittens on his back following suit. Jules, with tears in her eyes, looked at Dykhe and said, "Thank you, my goddess."

Dykhe stood up and gave a little bow. "It was my pleasure and my duty as your patron, girls. Speaking of which, what would you say if I asked you to be my priestesses, so that I may give your sisters around the world the providence and blessing they deserve?"

I grinned. "I'd say take us to church, my goddess."

The dust whipped up around us as the convoy roared through the badlands, our horse constructs galloping along with the war carriage in tow. Our quarry was currently speeding down the tracks with a smoking hole in the roof of the caboose and Mr. Granitesoul tossing the dead guards out the back. The dragons overhead us started flying up to the front half of the train, enticed by the presence of riches. There was enough money on there to buy two whole continents and pit them against each other--but everyone who knew the Broken Axe Gang knew we didn't do shit for the money.

I pulled my horse up next to the caboose and had it leap at it. A set of spikes popped out of its side, jamming it into the side. I shot out the window and climbed inside, where Mr. Granitesoul was waiting for me. "Should be a straight shot to the vault, ma'am."

"Aw, don't tell me the odds, Richard," I replied with a wicked grin. "It's more fun beatin' them when you don't know what they are."

A guard wearing the Arcadian Polity crest burst into the car and shouted, "Stop! You are under arrest for violating--"

THUNK!

An arrow lodged itself clean through the guard's throat, sending him falling to the ground to let his blood fill his airway. Through the open door emerged three more members of my crew: Glokk the orc, in his three-piece suit and bowler hat, Saguaro the elf, with his body decked out in warpaint and his bow in hand, and Miss Kitty the tabaxi, dressed to impress in her favorite corset and boots, and looking to kill as indicated by her primed and loaded tommy gun. As she entered the room, Kitty made a point of kicking the dead guard in the two-pump gun. I tutted and said, "Your new friend a bit of a letdown there, sugar?"

Kitty hissed indignantly. "Sumbitch lasted three minutes and wouldn't even put on the damn collar."

"Well, that ain't no way to treat a woman of class." I gently walked my hand along Kitty's shoulder and said, "Seems that once again, it falls to me to pick up the slack when we're done."

"The operative term being when we're done," Saguaro interjected. "We have a job to do."

"Ah, quit your bellyaching, Saguaro." I pulled my twin wands out of my holsters as I added, "Vanity the Vicious always keeps track of the job. Now, let's raise some hell."

With that, the five of us started cutting a bloody trail to the front of the train. Between Richard's constructs, Glokk's brute force, and the combined ranged weaponry of me, Miss Kitty, and Saguaro, the guards mustered up about as much resistance as a tumbleweed could against a dust devil. Eventually, we hit the car right before the vault, and encountered the last guard standing: a man with greying mutton chops in armor decorated in Arcadian Polity medals of valor. General Frederick Indras. My stepfather.

I leveled my wands at him and said, "Open the vault for us and we let you get off this train unharmed. Best deal you're getting, Freddie, so I suggest you take it."

Freddie sighed but wouldn't budge. "How long are you going to keep this up, Veruca? All of this senseless killing for the sake of one dragon?"

"Oh, the Polity's always had this coming. Tell me again, what kinda war crimes are those gonna fund?"

"Our war is just, you ignorant child! We are crusaders, marching onward to a future free of the creatures that are blasphemous in the--"

RATTATATTAT!

Freddie fell to the ground screaming, Miss Kitty's volley of bullets having torn through his leg. Glokk then walked over and took the key to the vault off of Freddie's body as he carried him to the previous car. Before Glokk dumped him, I called out, "And for the record, Freddie, that dragon was a better daddy to me than you could ever dream of being."

As Saguaro detached the car from the rest of the train, I let out a shrill whistle. I heard our dragons swoop down and land on top of the train car. As my crew braced themselves, the vault was lifted into the air and carried off to our hideout.

"Thank you for coming, Ms. Nikolaus. Now, before we start, and I'm sure you're quite tired of hearing this, but are those--"

I sighed. "Yes, these are horns, and no, I'm not a demon, and yes, I can prove it." I took a small cross out of my pocket and held it in my hand, keeping my palm open so Mrs. Wilder could see that my flesh wasn't smoking or anything like that. I put the cross back in my pocket as a now satisfied Mrs. Wilder said, "So if you're not a demon, then what are you?"

"Does the name Pasiphae mean anything to you?" Mrs. Wilder shook her head. "Well, maybe this'll ring a bell: Queen Pasiphae is enchanted to fall in love with a bull and sire a child with him that is both human and bull. Said child is thrown into a sprawling maze of a prison called the Labyrinth by the furious King Minos. This sounding familiar yet?"

Mrs. Wilder went wide eyed. "Oh my word, you're the minotaur?"

"Yup. And let me tell you, that story has been fudged like you would not believe."

Mrs. Wilder settled back in her chair. "Well, now I'm intrigued. Keep going."

"Really? Uh, okay. Well, first of all, my mom wasn't affected by any spell, my dad was--he's the giant shaggy monster you see in all those depictions. And that's another thing: my dad kept the temperament of a properly treated cow, so he's nothing like how all the art made him look. He and my mom have actually had a very happy marriage."

Mrs. Wilder smiled. "Oh, well that's just lovely. Sounds a lot like me and my wife."

I did a double take at what she said. "Your wife? I thought you were--"

"Whatever your answer's going to be, let me tell you upfront that I've heard it a lot. But yes, I'm bisexual and married to a woman. It was love at first sight when I met her on my trip to India. Took us a while to find a Hindu priest that would marry us, but we got there eventually."

"You're wife's a Hinduist?"

Mrs. Wilder pulled a necklace from behind the cover of her shirt, revealing an image of a six-armed woman. "We both are. I converted before I met her."

I settled back into my chair. "Huh. Did not expect that."

Mrs. Wilder let out a chuckle. "Nobody ever does. Now, we're wildly off-topic, so let's get back to the interview, shall we?"

"Right, right, of course!"

Thirty minutes later, I walked out of Mrs. Wilder's office, looking forward to my first shift the following Monday.

Thank you so much! I don't think I've ever gotten this much praise for one of my stories

Most kids fear the idea of monsters under their bed. Not me though; I mean, it's not like they asked to be called monsters, right? So, when my parents turned out the lights and the darkness flooded my bedroom, I chose to talk to the things living under my bed. And they answered.

As time went on, Olive the spider creature and Melody the bat creature became my best friends, even though I never physically saw them. I told them everything: who I liked, what I wanted to be when I grew up, the places I wanted to go. They were there for me every night I went to sleep. And one night, I discovered how deep our bond went.

It was close to midnight and I was staring up at the ceiling as I said, "Are you there?"

"Yes, we're here," Olive answered back.

"Is everything alright? Normally, you talk to us much earlier," Melody added.

"There's... something I need to tell you. And I was scared how you'd react. But, you deserve to know: I... I want to be a girl."

Melody and Olive were silent for all of five seconds before they both responded, "Alright then!"

"You... you guys are okay with this?"

"Of course we are," Melody replied. "Why wouldn't we be?"

"What would you like us to call you, dear?"

"Um, Daisy. I wanna be called Daisy."

"Hello, Daisy," Melody said. "Now go to bed. It's late."

"Okay. Good night guys."

When I woke up the next morning, there was a surprise waiting for me. Hanging off the foot of my bed was a beautiful dress the color of corn silk. Lying next to it was a post-it note with the words 'A pretty girl deserves a pretty dress!' scribbled on it. I actually started to tear up at the gesture.

Over the next few years, Olive and Melody were there for me like they always were, but something was different. When I referred to them as my friends, I felt... guilty. I still liked them and they still liked me, but I couldn't help but feel like I was being reductive in a way. I wanted an answer so badly--and I eventually got one.

I came home from school one day, eager to put on my dress to cheer myself up after a bad day. But that didn't happen. Because sitting in the living room was my parents, with my dress in my mom's hands and both of them staring at me like I'd just tried to smack a puppy. I froze in place and awkwardly said, "Where'd you, uh, get that?"

My dad angrily pointed at me. "It was in your room. Why?"

"It-it's a birthday present for a friend. I was keeping it in my room so she wouldn't find it when--"

My mom shot out of her seat and screamed, "DON'T YOU LIE TO US! We will not let our son fall into this heresy!" My mom then tried to rip my dress in half, prompting me to rush at her and grab it myself while yelling, "No! Stop! It's mine, let go!!"

I managed to wrench the dress out of my mom's grasp without ruining it. But the second I did, my dad backhanded me, sending me sprawling onto the ground. As I touched the bruise on my cheek gently and shakily looked up at my dad, he growled, "We didn't raise a freak."

I bolted up the stairs and threw myself into my room as fast as I could. I slammed the door shut and pressed up against it in an attempt to keep my parents out. I felt tears running down my face as I whimpered, "Why are they doing this? What did I do wrong?"

"Daisy! Daisy, what's happening?!" Melody's voice grabbed my attention, prompting me to reply, "They found my dress, and now they're mad, and my dad hit me, and--"

The door to my room was forced open, sending me sliding across the floor. I clutched my dress as tight as I could as my mother started dragging me by the hair into the hallway. My dad undid his belt as he said, "You brought this on yourse--"

SCREEEE!

A giant brown blur lunged out of my bedroom and tackled my dad against the linen closet door. A woman covered in fur with big pointy ears and a pair of leathery wings in place of arms had pinned my dad as she hissed, "Try me, you self-righteous clump of garbage with a pulse!" My mom screamed and tried to run away, only for a giant strand of spider silk to reel her in and stick her to a wall. I looked up to see a woman with the lower half of a spider, long white hair, and jet black skin with a web line protruding from her wrist.

"O-Olive? Melody?"

Olive looked down at me and said, "Oh God, Daisy, please tell me you're okay," as she crouched down to pull me into a hug. I cried into her arms as she tenderly stroked my hair. My dad tried to say something, only for Olive to fire a web over his mouth to shut him up and another on his chest to stick him in place. Melody then joined Olive in embracing me as she said, "We are so sorry, baby. We never should've let you stay in this place for so long."

I sobbed as I responded, "I don't wanna be here anymore. I don't wanna be with them anymore."

Olive sounded like her heart was breaking as she said, "Okay, sweetie. Go pack up everything you want to bring with you, and we'll take you home with us. Does that sound good to you?"

I nodded. "I just want my dress and my stuffed animals and my game system. Then I'll be ready."

Melody walked into my room to start gathering up my things. My mom sputtered, "What is going on?! What are you people?!" Neither Olive or I gave her a response, and instead stepped into my room and lifted up the covers on my bed. As Melody and Olive crawled underneath and entered the shadows, I turned back to my mother and gave her the answer to her question and to the way I felt about the two:

"Those two are my family. My real family."

Winter's chill had made a return, making the coziness of my lair ever more appreciated. With the fireplace I taught myself to build, quilts I taught myself to sew, and baked goods I taught myself to make, it would've put any inn to shame. And my dear Flora would certainly attest to that statement, as she was indulging herself in all three amenities as she pored over a book on speaking dragontongue. She insisted on learning the language now that we were living together, which I found so touching.

I, in my human form, was curled up beside her, savoring her aroma of peppermint as I tested her knowledge. "Alright, try this: <I sailed past the edge of the world three times over.>"

Flora thought for a bit before answering, "<And still I know of no sight more brilliant than you.>"

I smiled and kissed her on the cheek. "Exactly correct. And your accent was flawless."

Flora giggled. "Well, I owe it all to my teacher. Speaking of which," she continued as she shifted positions to get into my lap, "Is there anything I can do for extra credit, Mrs. Moonslice?"

I purred as I wrapped my arms around her. "Always, princess. No such thing as being too much of a teacher's pet, after all."

Flora and I began kissing as I pulled the quilt off of us and we rolled onto the bearskin carpet. The fire crackled and bathed the both of us in warm, flickering light as Flora peppered my neck with bite marks. In between soft gasps, I said to her, "You know what the worst part of this is? When I turn back into a dragon, these lovely marks of yours will be gone."

"Mmm, I love the image of you flying around, brazenly showing off how you're all mine--"

THOOM THOOM THOOM!

A thunderous knocking rang through the lair. Someone was at the front door. I groaned as I took a break from the entertainment to fire up the pneumatic communication system Flora put together last weekend. Static briefly rang out from the speaker, followed by the voice of a woman yelling, "Flora, you come out here this instant!" Now, it was Flora's turn to groan--her mother was back again.

Flora pressed the button on the microphone and said, "I'm sorry, but we don't allow any Queen Prudences on the premises. Please come back when you are someone else."

"Flora, you open this door and come home right now!"

"Well, she would if she wouldn't freeze to death," I responded. "And, you know, if she actually wanted to."

"Nobody was talking to you, you scaled harlot!"

Flora scowled. "Don't talk to Brunhilde like that!"

Prudence sighed aggressively. "Look, Flora, I know that you had this place recognized by the archival society as a repository of knowledge so I couldn't just order it destroyed. And your father and I agree that this little rebellious phase has officially gone too far. Now, we've found a prince from a neighboring kingdom who's willing to marry you, so if you come down here peacefully, we'll leave this hovel alone."

Flora looked like she was about to explode. "Okay, first of all, Brunhilde is a thousand times better than any milquetoast royal bastard you could find. Second of all, you will respect the lair's protected status regardless of my decision or I'll sic the grand archivist on your ass. And third of all, I lost my virginity to our old gardener Primrose, so this is not and never has been a phase. Now fuck off!"

Flora hung up and let out a huff as she slumped back against the quilt pile. I scooted in next to her and said, "You okay, honey?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, I just...why can't I be enough for that woman as I am?"

I placed my hand over hers. "Well, she's stupid. And you'll always be enough for me."

Flora smiled and leaned against my shoulder. "Thanks, baby."

"So, the gardener, huh?"

Flora smirked and began stroking my thigh. "Do you want details or do you want to help me bury my virginity ever further?"

"Second option, please."

Thank you. Imma little trickster ☺️

"Really, dad? You gotta do this now?"

Max's dad shrugged, causing the cabinet he was lifting in one hand to briefly scrape the ceiling. "What? I couldn't find my watch. Any hero worth their salt keeps their Situation Alert Messenger on them at all times."

Max rolled her eyes and replied, "Right, and I'm sure you totally didn't drop it under the trophy cabinet on purpose to intimidate my girlfriend when she came over for dinner."

Max's dad laughed as he set the cabinet back down and took his seat directly across from me. I coughed nervously and said to him, "That was pretty impressive there, Mr. Hubert. Uh, sorry, I meant Vanguard Red. What was that, a couple thousand pounds?"

"Correctimundo! About six thousand to be precise. I had it rigged up with some spatial distortion tech, makes it very heavy. You know, I think my favorite souvenir in there is the head of that one robot when I was just starting out. Must've knocked that sucker's head clean into the next county over! Bam!" Max's dad punctuated the impact with a quick punch in the air.

Max's mom frowned and remarked, "Oh Steven, will you cut it out? You're making Courtney feel uncomfortable." She then turned to me with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry about him, he gets overprotective."

I waved my hand dismissively. "Ah, don't worry about it, Ms. Oleander. I'd be the exact same way when it comes to someone as lovely as Max. You know, if they existed." Max giggled and kissed me on the cheek, leaving a barbecue sauce lip print behind.

Max's mom cooed over the two of us, then gently elbowed Steven in the ribcage. Steven sighed and remarked, "Alright, alright, I'll stop. Right after I tell you about the time I battled the White King on the--"

BEEPBEEPBEEP! BEEPBEEPBEEP!

Max glanced down at her own S.A.M. and said, "Oh crap, Warmouse and Golden Ox just broke out of jail! I left my uniform in the car, I'll be right back!" Max then got out of her chair as a light blue portal appeared on the ground and she gently hopped into it.

Steven then turned to me and continued, "Anyway, the White King on the--"

"Actually Mr. Hubert, I don't mean to interrupt, but could I have the last of the milk?" Steven frowned but handed me the mostly empty carton. I spun the cap off and started chugging the whole thing.

I felt the effects rush through my body almost instantly. Muscle fibers tensed up and got larger as a newfound weight settled into my bones. A tingling sensation filled my ears as they began to change shape. And lastly, I felt pushing from beneath my skin as my horns and tail grew in. By the time the carton was empty, I had an extra foot in height, the physique of an Olympian, and a trio of assorted bovine features.

Steven's eyes were wider than a sumo wrestler's waistband. "Courtney, you--you're the--"

"Milkmaid? Yes, Mr. Hubert. Yes I am."

Steven looked over at his wife, who he now saw was smirking, and said, "You knew about this?!"

Ms. Oleander shrugged. "We wanted to surprise you."

A new portal opened up on the ceiling, depositing Max, now in her Express uniform, onto the floor. She quickly ran over to kiss both of her parents on the cheek and say, "Back in a bit, guys! Don't start dessert without us!" With that, she grabbed my hand and teleported the both of us away. Though not before I said to Steven, "And FYI, I haven't benched anything as low as six thousand pounds since I was thirteen."

Every thought in my head told me this was a bad idea. That I'd get absolutely nothing out of this I would actually appreciate and I should just walk out right now. But I was in the visiting room regardless, sitting in a chair and waiting. Because sometimes you need to find out if you're reopening an old wound or just checking to see if it's become a new scar yet.

A buzzing sound filled the room as a door from the other side of the indestructible glass opened. A figure in an orange jumpsuit and nullifier cuffs walked in and planted himself in his own chair. He was exactly as I remembered him, unfortunately: black, burn-like scales, spiked tail, fanged muzzle, and third eye in the middle of his forehead. With a smile that made my skin crawl, Andrew said to me, "Bienvenue, Leilani. Oh, my apologies, Guiding Star."

"Hey Andrew. Been a while."

"Five years, two months, and twenty-three days. But you know, who's counting?" Andrew leaned forward. "So, what psychopath hinting at a vague connection to me warranted this little miracle?"

"I... I stopped a mugging last night."

"A mugging? You know, I didn't have the highest opinion of you, but even I didn't think you'd be petty enough to--"

"It was Serena and Wyatt that were being mugged, Andrew."

"Oh." Andrew looked at the floor. "Are they... okay?"

I nodded. "Serena was a little shook up, but she was fine. But she misses you. She's scared she's gonna have to raise Wyatt without ever knowing his father, and that got me thinking about you, and I felt guilty about not visiting you all these years, so...here I am."

Andrew looked back up at me, his smile gone from his face like he never knew how to smile in the first place. "You want to know why, don't you?"

I wiped a tear from my eye as I responded, "Yes. I didn't have it in me to ask when you became Tuatara, but I want to know now. Why did you do it?"

A deafening silence blanketed the room for what felt like a lifetime before Andrew spoke again. "The day you created your first speed star to get to school on time was the greatest day of your life. But for me, it was the first nail in the coffin. I'd already gotten my eighth negative metagene test, and you were breaking land speed records. It didn't take a genius to foresee that dad would've given up on me after that.

"Life after that was just an exercise in how many nails the coffin could take. Seeing dad train you, coming home from school to see you hanging out with other heroes-in-training, your preliminary sketches for your uniform--it all just drove home that you were everything I always wanted to be. And the day you showed off your finished uniform was the day it finally clicked for me: I hated you. Not Leilani, but Guiding Star. The symbol of every opportunity I had been screwed out of.

"So when Serena and those other alien refugees showed up, and I heard about the virus they were carrying, I saw my chance. My chance to be special. To be somebody. To kill the people who ruined my life." Andrew looked at me and the tears streaming down my face and shrugged. "You asked."

I got out of my chair and walked up to the glass. "I'm sorry, I--I have to go now. I just... I miss my brother."

"And yet you're commiserating with the guy who killed him. Funny how that works."

In between sobs, I said to him, "Goodbye, Tuatara."

"Goodbye, Guiding Star. Don't come back."

In the beginning, there were gods. Children of stardust and gold who came down to the world of mortals and gained dominion over the forces of nature. Fire, the forest, the seas, wild stallions--all bowed to the power and providence of the first generation of gods. And this is the story of three gods in particular: Ts'ehayi, Ch'erek'a, and Kokebi.

Ts'ehayi was the goddess of the sun, she who brought warmth and life to the world of man. Ch'erek'a was the goddess of the moon, master of the tides and herald of the night. And Kokebi was the goddess of the stars, a storyteller, navigator, and artist in equal measure. But Kokebi had a dilemma.

You see, Kokebi loved both Ts'ehayi and Ch'erek'a. Ts'ehayi was a kindred spirit, a fellow being of light, who pledged that Kokebi would always have a warm bed to return to when the day was done. Ch'erek'a, on the other hand, knew the brilliance and beauty of the night sky as intimately as Kokebi did, and promised that she would care for Kokebi as gently as only silvery moonlight could. But Ts'ehayi and Ch'erek'a were lifelong rivals, and neither would back down in their romantic pursuits.

One day, their feud escalated to violence. The two clashed with unrelenting fury, swinging the world of mortals between blistering day and freezing night with every advantage gained by their respective deity. Kokebi was horrified that the goddesses she loved had gone to such extremes over her, and ran off into the furthest reaches of heaven, her every teardrop floating away to become a new star. When Ts'ehayi and Ch'erek'a saw what their bitterness had done, they stopped fighting and pledged to never take arms against the other again.

The two kept their eyes trained upwards for Kokebi's return in the years that followed. And as they did, something incredible happened. With their rivalry dead and buried, Ts'ehayi and Ch'erek'a grew closer and closer with each passing day. And one night, the two realized they had fallen in love with each other, and kissed so passionately that the sun and moon lined up with one another, turning the latter as red as the former's most brilliant of dawns.

Eventually, Kokebi returned from the sky. As she saw Ts'ehayi and Ch'erek'a embracing one another tenderly, she was sad but satisfied, and almost left them to their devices before the two stopped her. Ts'ehayi and Ch'erek'a explained that neither of them stopped loving Kokebi just because they now loved each other, and asked if Kokebi would be willing to marry both of them. Kokebi, overjoyed that she was no longer forced into a position where she would have to break one of their hearts, agreed with jubilation.

And so, the three continued their roles with a renewed vigor, the kind only finding your true loves could call forth. And if the heavens can accommodate the sun, moon, and stars' heartfelt dance, can the heart not also make room for multiple loves?

The Council Meeting Chamber was a sight to behold. A towering room with vaulted ceilings, stained glass windows, and a mural on the floor leading to the table where the five representatives of the council sat. There were four representatives for every race present in the Council, to ensure nothing would become too heavily skewed in one race's favor and that there would be substitutes on hand should the initially selected representative be indisposed. Today, the Council was called upon to make a decision of great importance: two settlements were vying for a place on the Council but only one would be allowed in.

The guards at the entrance announced, "Presenting Emperor Silas of the human kingdom of Victoria and Chieftain Axe of the kobold settlement of Moonrise." A pair of dignitaries were escorted into the chamber; one a human man in lavish golden silk robes and the other a kobold woman in a simple black cloak with a belt full of pouches tied to her waist. The guards parted to the side once they had reached the end of the hall.

The Council representatives were arranged side by side, each with enough space to themselves to present their weapons to ensure they would not be armed for the meeting. Behind them was an extensive metalworks project displaying the champions of the five races uniting to slay a fallen god. Nestled in the space between Hoka of the goblins and Redwall of the elves were two other people: an armored figure standing upright and carrying the other person, a tiefling girl covered in tassels, on their shoulder.

Octavian of the humans rose out of his seat. "The Council hereby recognizes the request from both parties to obtain a place and presence within our ranks. As there is only one opening, both representatives shall make their case. I, Octavian of the humans, give permission to Emperor Silas to step forward and make his case."

Silas stepped forward with a smile and said, "Thank you, Octavian of the humans. As I'm sure you have heard, the kingdom of Victoria is the greatest military power on the eastern half of the continent. Our weapons are forged from the finest materials, our soldiers are put through the most intense training, and our defenses are crafted to the absolute peak of perfection. And should that not entice you, we are more than willing to share our wealth and resources with--"

Glory of the orcs stood up. "And what will you offer to teach Lady Jericho?"

Silas faltered. "I...who?"

The armored figure piped up, "I am Lady Jericho." The tiefling girl pulled Jericho's helmet off, revealing a young woman with glowing white eyes, grey skin, and long, flowing black hair. "Progeny of the Fallen God and the Chosen One. All races represented on the Council agreed to raise me and teach me in their ways. And you will be asked again: what can your people offer to teach me?"

Silas scoffed. "Surely my entry into the Council isn't dependent on some ash-covered child with an inhuman prostitute on her shoulder."

"Actually, I'm Jericho's fiance, Amber," the tiefling responded. "And if you ever imply prostitutes are somehow unworthy of respect again, I will gouge out your eyes. Slowly."

Siegfried of the dwarves rose from his seat and announced, "Thank you for your time, Silas, now please be silent. I, Siegfried of the dwarves, give permission to Chieftain Axe to step forward and make her case."

Silas adopted an insulted expression as Axe stepped forward. "Thank you, Siegfried of the dwarves. Lady Jericho has learnt many talents from you all over the years. But I must ask: what of stealth, hmm? The humans taught her the art of deception and the goblins and dwarves the secrets of trap-making, but I see no training in the arts of infiltration, scouting, misdirection, or even how to pick a lock. A direct assault can deal with your problem, but so can a well-planned escape. If the Council will allow the kobolds to have a place with them, Lady Jericho shall become one with silence and the shadows under our tutelage."

The representatives got out of their seats as Redwall said, "All in favor of granting Axe and the kobolds entry into the Council?" All as one, the representatives said, "Aye!" As they sat back down, Hoko remarked, "Welcome to the Council, Chieftain Axe. Tomorrow, we will walk you through the steps and process of --"

"THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!" The Council looked at Silas with a mixture of shock and insult. "You're letting these glorified salamanders onto the Council because they offered to teach some--some woman selected by a nonsense prophecy how to be a better thief?!"

Lady Jericho held out her hand, causing Silas to be telekinetically moved into her grasp. "Since you have clearly done no prior research," Jericho growled, "Allow me to explain some things to you. Firstly, there is no prophecy--I am the Chosen One because I was chosen by the people to be raised in love in the hopes I would be better than the fallen god whose corpse I was born from. Secondly, the decision for me to be trained by all races on the Council was a symbolic gesture, a way to demonstrate that people could come together for more than just combating threats and that working to a common goal as one makes us stronger, better. And thirdly, the Council elects representatives of races, not kingdoms. They already have human representatives, so this endeavor of yours was doomed from the start."

"WHAT?! Then why meet with me at all?!"

Jericho glared daggers at Silas. "So you know not to try this again. Now get out." Jericho tossed Silas to the floor, prompting a pair of guards to drag him by the arms out of the chamber. Octavian sighed and remarked, "I just don't understand how someone can go into a situation knowing so little about the people you're meeting with."

Jericho shrugged. "Well, I was born from the dead body of a higher being. Sense has pretty much had its day."