What happened in this story could be in a textbook on alcoholism.

I'm not saying you're drinking most days. I'm saying if you show up to an apartment where there's alcohol and end up drunk despite being the only one, then yes you have a problem with alcohol. Just quit drinking, look what it has cost you

"can I touch your chest" / "is it okay if I touch your chest" works fine and won't ruin anything. Or you just ask early on "let me know what's too much" and if nothing is too much she'll tell you something to that effect.

Honestly it is too easy for guys to not realize how scary it can be for a woman to say no or stop. Make it easier