kid_r0cK

kid_r0cK t1_j0hvvzh wrote

They say the Atlassian Rum Cake was the one that started it all. A cake with alcohol content so high that even a hardcore drunk would think twice before touching the stuff. It was baked in Montenegro by the baker named Davor. It was supposed to be a christmas cake -- baked as a gift to the baker Petar who was the only baker in town that gave Davor some competition. When the Atlassian Rum Cake arrived at Petar's bakery it was received by his mother Anastasija. Anastasija was short, fat, and had a sweet tooth. She couldn't resist the allure of the cake and ate it. When Petar returned to the bakery, his mother was no more. Anastasija's liver couldn't keep up with the toxicity of the cake.

Petar would outdo Davor and create a cake infused with mustard gas, but it's impact would reach far and wide. While Petar did achieve his goal of taking Davor's life, the mustard gas infused cake was confiscated by the government and the baker arrested. This would, however, turn out to be a fake arrest. The baker -- Petar -- was in fact employed by the government to bake cakes which could be used for assassinations.

Davor's Atlassian Rum Cake was not as lethal as the mustard gas cake, but it's recipe was far simpler and out of the government's reach. Terrorist bakers used the Atlassian Rum Cake in a major incident at the G20 summit where a terrorist organization affiliated caterer whose connections to the said organization were unknown to the secret services mixed in the rum cake with the refreshments resulting in the death of six major world leaders.

Dirty cakes were used in war. Dictators used them to squash revolutions. Cakes became the new battleground.

Soon people stopped consuming cakes and resisted eating any baked items. To eat a cake in this day and age is like playing russian roulette.

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