no1ofconsequencedied t1_j83opxe wrote on February 11, 2023 at 12:05 PM Reply to comment by SCP_radiantpoison in [WP] You are Death, but in a post-apocalyptic world. Only a few survivors remain, and you're doing everything you can to help them because if the last human dies, you die as well. The survivors can't see you, but they feel your presence and notice you efforts. They started to call you Life. by Frosty-Ad-1284 I like the way the story unfolds. The way you write out each paragraph, culminating in a final piece that shapes the whole. However, your sentences do run on a little bit. Might want to cut them into slightly smaller pieces. Permalink Parent 7
no1ofconsequencedied t1_j83opxe wrote
Reply to comment by SCP_radiantpoison in [WP] You are Death, but in a post-apocalyptic world. Only a few survivors remain, and you're doing everything you can to help them because if the last human dies, you die as well. The survivors can't see you, but they feel your presence and notice you efforts. They started to call you Life. by Frosty-Ad-1284
I like the way the story unfolds. The way you write out each paragraph, culminating in a final piece that shapes the whole.
However, your sentences do run on a little bit. Might want to cut them into slightly smaller pieces.