"We've been trying to reach you regarding your car's extended warranty."

Better than a salad full of foreskins.

I worked at a place where the valet guys would routinely take nice cars for a drive if they knew there was enough time. They leased space in a parking garage two blocks away, and it always struck me as a bit bizarre watching a guy drive off with someone's Porsche.

I like this almost as much as the one where they wrap the Brussels sprouts in foil like the ferrero rocher candies.