You shared an evening of honesty and vulnerability with the people who you trust and spend most of your day with. That's not something to be ashamed of, or to dread.
Having been in a depressive and suicidal place before, I can understand the guilt and shame you might feel for having voiced those thoughts with people. I really can. Those feelings are put on you by your own mind though, not by the people around you. No one wants you to feel ashamed of this.
Now, being in a better place, I can say with complete confidence that if anyone I knew (be them a friend, a colleague or even an acquaintance) shared similar notions or thoughts with me i would not respond negatively. I would take the opportunity to be more supportive and friendly with them. Sharing is a huge deal, and you might have done it drunk but I'm still proud of you because it takes guts to tell people where you're at.
Anyone who treats you differently does so because they don't know how to act or respond. Not because they dislike you, or think you're dramatic or attention seeking. Everyone knows someone who lost their fight, your colleagues uncle, a friend, a family member. It's common, and likely this is not anyone's first 'exposure' to depression and suicide.
You have a great opportunity now to get some support and help through work. You can, and should apologize for drinking excessively, potentially making people uncomfortable or taking them off guard. But that's not apologizing for how you have been feeling, or for sharing. You've done a thing just as brave as stepping into the train.
Your work may have access to employee counselling they can hook you up with. Which you should use. You don't need to broach the subject with your colleagues if you are not comfortable. They will likely let it lie, leaving you to take the lead on continued or ceased dialogue. And that is not pretending that you never said anything, that is a kindness of letting you process and/or guide any more conversation.
You don't need to broach it if you don't want to. You can maintain your relationships as they are now, unchanged, if that is what you want and need.
OP, I hope you are okay. Feel free to PM me if you want to :)
rheemy t1_j8b1m5w wrote
Reply to TIFU by telling my coworkers all about my depression while plastered by [deleted]
You shared an evening of honesty and vulnerability with the people who you trust and spend most of your day with. That's not something to be ashamed of, or to dread.
Having been in a depressive and suicidal place before, I can understand the guilt and shame you might feel for having voiced those thoughts with people. I really can. Those feelings are put on you by your own mind though, not by the people around you. No one wants you to feel ashamed of this.
Now, being in a better place, I can say with complete confidence that if anyone I knew (be them a friend, a colleague or even an acquaintance) shared similar notions or thoughts with me i would not respond negatively. I would take the opportunity to be more supportive and friendly with them. Sharing is a huge deal, and you might have done it drunk but I'm still proud of you because it takes guts to tell people where you're at.
Anyone who treats you differently does so because they don't know how to act or respond. Not because they dislike you, or think you're dramatic or attention seeking. Everyone knows someone who lost their fight, your colleagues uncle, a friend, a family member. It's common, and likely this is not anyone's first 'exposure' to depression and suicide.
You have a great opportunity now to get some support and help through work. You can, and should apologize for drinking excessively, potentially making people uncomfortable or taking them off guard. But that's not apologizing for how you have been feeling, or for sharing. You've done a thing just as brave as stepping into the train.
Your work may have access to employee counselling they can hook you up with. Which you should use. You don't need to broach the subject with your colleagues if you are not comfortable. They will likely let it lie, leaving you to take the lead on continued or ceased dialogue. And that is not pretending that you never said anything, that is a kindness of letting you process and/or guide any more conversation.
You don't need to broach it if you don't want to. You can maintain your relationships as they are now, unchanged, if that is what you want and need.
OP, I hope you are okay. Feel free to PM me if you want to :)