You've got to learn religion, seems to be the only way to fix your situation, that and studying well. I don't mean completely devote yourself (you can if you want) but just find yourself understanding of religion. I'd recommend listening to some of what Jordan Peterson talks about I'm relation to religion. The main thing you have to understand is that religion, in my eyes at least, isn't just believing in a specific story about some all powerful dude but rather taking in the teachings. The stories told in all religious books have a lot to offer if you only read them. I'd you take those teaching and apply them to your life I guarantee you'll be better off. Btw, this is coming from someone who didn't believe in a 'God' until about 6 months to a year ago and I'm 21. I'm still not big on the whole concept of it but I definitely see its benefits and belief is currently helping me through a rough patch. Remember, you're not defined by your mistakes but rather what you make of them, this doesn't have to be the end of your relationship with your mum, I guarantee you if you bust your ass off to repair it you will. Gl homie 🤙