Agreed, but we don't know if he's bad mouthing her yet. And honestly, she said some hurtful shit that she knows she should apologize for and she still hasn't.

I agree with you. OP is speculating, unless he's consistently done this before. Also, OP hasn't apologized yet. Her husband is sitting there stewing on the untrue and hurtful comment - I would need some space from her too.

With a ton of respect for your superhuman ability as a single mom, OP and her husband are in a totally different situation. Using SHOULD seems super judgemental towards the husband, when it sounds like he's contributing. Just because it's not what you and OP wish, it doesn't mean he isn't doing a lot. What should have happened and what should happen now is for the couple to sit and discuss what they want from each other in the child rearing area. Perhaps, when he wakes up, OP's husband take them ice skating and then out for hot chocolate in a totally cool family outing. IDK and neither does anyone else on Reddit.

Peace.

Edit (addition): you don't need to get over it. You should think about how each of you contributes to the duchess of raising your child. Plenty of people argue about not having enough to make ends meet, but it seems like your husband is working to make that one less item to stress over.

This provides a lot more context. Your original post is missing a lot of information, and I bet you're still holding on to more.

Either way, I understand it's difficult in the moment to get frustrated when someone doesn't meet your expectations, but you have to understand everyone has limitations. Also, it sounds like your husband has done a ton of work to provide for you.

1. You weren't able to meet your financial obligations and he picked up your slack.
2. He sacrificed his retirement funds and had to pay taxes on the early withdrawal of them to spend time with you when his job didn't provide enough paternal leave.
3. He used his time to study for a new industry to hopefully make more money (perhaps, b/c your contributions are not consistent or you both decided that your total family income needs to increase). IDK.

It's not a race to provide for your child. You both are contributing in very different, but important ways.

Now, this is not to say that he shouldn't praise you for all the hands on work in raising a child. This may be the issue. Just apologize sincerely. But maybe say that it would be nice to be recognized for your work too, if that's what caused it.