syn2083

syn2083 t1_j6az8le wrote

My wife and I have had to work hard to get through a lot of the same types of feelings you indicate here.

The number one thing you must do, both, when these thoughts and reactions come up is communicate. It can be extremely hard, painful, sad, but you cannot move forward while you drag the past with you.

I implore you to do that, depending on your situation there may be some counciling that can be done, or mom groups, many libraries have numerous programs, online groups, etc.

I am not trying to say you are nuts, but everyone needs help, and that can be in many forms and methods, seeking help, being open, honest.. that leads to hope, stability, comfort.

If you love your family and your SO, then you need to try to set aside any resentment and let yourself heal, let yourself be OK, find things that let you unwind, give you breaks, and in the long run that provides stability for you, them, everyone.

You can't be expected to be perfect, no one can be, so accept that you are not, he isn't, and that's OK. Like a rock in the ocean the waves pass, but you don't need to be made to live in an eternal storm. Feelings are good, but if you react like you did, and casually mention it was from sadness and depression, frustration at having to be the sole person handling the child... yeah, been there, that feeling sucks, and couple that with down thoughts, simmering resentment because we are human, and in some cases logical and emotional crash and burn...

Well, like I said, get some help, people who feel down and sad deserve help, discussion, the ability to process and cope, just like anyone else. That's not shameful, and there are many places to find help when it is needed.

I hope you are able to find some peace, and calmness for you. You matter as much as anyone, and that is a priceless lesson for a child or partner, we all deserve that. Sometimes it's not an easy journey, but it's worth shooting for, and shows others that this is not weakness or to be buried, acceptance and love see you through, self first then others.

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