t92k
t92k t1_iwz2g3p wrote
Reply to comment by Zephyr-2210 in Psychologists demonstrate why feeling appreciated is particularly important for avoidantly attached individuals by chrisdh79
If you identify with the “avoidently attached” part of this article then you should be aware you are going to bring that to therapy too. For me, my therapist was the first person in my life who was always where she said she was going to be when she said she’d be there. That allowed me to become attached — within the boundaries of a professional counseling relationship. From there we worked on disproving the belief that my parents (school, medical professionals) were bad to me because they all knew I was broken and I deserved it. That was a process of telling stories that seemed to support the belief and then looking at those same events from other perspectives so I can stop blaming myself. Eventually I was able to believe I’m a person who deserves attachment. I still have patterns where I proactively detach from relationships, or see rejection in absent-mindedness, but I have a lot more tools and a lot less anger than I used to.
t92k t1_ix62kfn wrote
Reply to comment by Zephyr-2210 in Psychologists demonstrate why feeling appreciated is particularly important for avoidantly attached individuals by chrisdh79
It might be worth bringing that up. I was in "cognitive behavioral therapy" so we had the goal of changing my beliefs about my place in the world. You may be in a different kind.