The trouble with this interpretation is that it's horribly pessimistic and the ending of Evangelion is canonically optimistic. The real ending of Evangelion is the end of the TV series with the "congratulations" given to Shinji for him realizing he can grow and be better. The whole point of the show, as Hideki Anno has said is for people to learn that they can grow to be better, and they don't have to turn to escapism (e.g. watching mecha animes for his otaku audience) to avoid their problems (he has spoken about how he did this himself and escaped depression by learning to stop being an otaku and to actually embrace reality and life). Instrumentality is the ultimate form of running away from your human problems.

The main point you seem to be missing is that Instrumentality isn't a good thing. It's inhuman, and the desire to pursue it is driven by insecurity and loss, e.g. with Gendo Ikari losing his wife. When everyone turns to goo, we see how in their last moments, Rei turns into whatever the people she was killing were pining for, but never pursuing. It's artificial, fake happiness rather than the true happiness that comes from accepting yourself, learning to be better, and pursuing your goals with real others (despite the Hedgehog's Dilemma).

Ultimately, I guess, I defer to the directorial intent of Hideki Anno in interpreting Evangelion, a show/movie that is otherwise pretty difficult to interpret, especially without a decent amount of life experience.