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lilacoceanfeather t1_j6il6wh wrote

You need repeated proximity to make friends. When you're in school, it's easy. For years, every day, you have class, you have sports, clubs, and other after-school activities.

When you're an adult, you have to find and make those opportunities yourself. You have to put yourself out there, and commit to some kind of regularity.

What do you enjoy doing? Your hobbies? Can you find social activities for your hobbies? Have you looked at Meetup or Bumble BFF? What about volunteering? Is there a social cause or passion that you could explore?

If you are the sports or outdoorsy type, join a gym and take classes, join a recreational sports league, check out community centers, find a hiking group, etc.

If you are an arts or creative type, join a book club, a writers' group, take a music lesson, a pottery or painting class, woodworking class, knitting, etc.

Be open to meeting and making friends with people of different ages and life stages. And be willing to take initiative in being the first person to invite someone to do something or follow up.

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packofpoodles t1_j6irs0v wrote

Well said. It takes time! Even when you join a gym or a club, it can take months or even years for adult friendships to fully take root.

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lilacoceanfeather t1_j6iv4f2 wrote

Yes -- no relationship develops overnight. You still need time and the right people, personalities, and schedules to form real, mutual connections with others.

With that in mind, you should be prepared to partake in activities and events that you actually enjoy, or at least be willing to put an honest effort in. Not everything you do will help you make a friend, or make a friend in that immediate moment. You should still continuously put yourself out there, though, and have fun while you do it!

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cbdeane t1_j6jr6nh wrote

Repeated proximity can legitimately be work when you’re trying to make new friends in your 30s lmao 🤣 super worth it though

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