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endymylife t1_je2pe2i wrote

Another way to interpret this is that you're the only one who can change your life.

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k4b0odls t1_je2wpwz wrote

My biggest fear is that my cruelty to myself will spill out onto others.

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GiantRetortoise t1_je36p83 wrote

Any way to express this sentiment without the Nazi meme format

−8

Captain-Shivers t1_je3gv6v wrote

The best pep talks I’ve had have come from myself in the mirror. Sometimes you just have to make eye contact with yourself and tell yourself the things you need to hear.

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justasmalltowndad t1_je3ltmr wrote

One thing I heard is: once you start thanking your past self instead of cursing him, that's when you know you're on the right track.

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byond6 t1_je3pjwx wrote

Little yellow text boxes?

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6upsidedown9 t1_je3xjnb wrote

Replying to byond6 (#2,439,246)

It's usually used alongside a weak/"woke" looking person saying something like "you think a woman raising a child is more important than exploring her sexuality" or some similar shit and the "based traditionalist Chad" says "Yes".

Not that I care about a meme format, just explaining where they get that idea from.

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agent_wolfe t1_je3y112 wrote

How do you be kind to yourself? I’m still beating myself for things I said or did 30 years ago. Also last week.

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Freeman421 t1_je43o8z wrote

And yet everytime I look in the mirror I fucking hate what I see, but then again I hate a lot of people. So why should I be a hypocrite and not hate my self?

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Accomplished-Rice992 t1_je44vkp wrote

Replying to bmstalker (#2,441,232)

Yes! This is how I've overcome so much resentment for my body and myself! I call it puppy care!

Like a puppy, Body You is completely dependent on Brain You, and unwaveringly loyal, doing the best it can to do anything Brain You asks it to do on any whim. And like a puppy, it can't control whether or not it's meeting your goals or ideals (especially when it's sick). It also isn't at fault that Brain stuffed it with a dozen donuts daily for a week, so it packed on some weight.

So you're responsible for alllll the kindness, grace, and love it needs. And nutrition. Don't forget the nutrition. Please diligently feed the puppy nutritious food, and occasionally take it for some fun exercise.

And in time, you can see Brain You suffers when Body You suffers, so it's easier to forgive your mistakes. Body is tired, Brain is tired, mistakes happen and/or goals get missed. It's ok. You're not a colossal failure. You're just tired. Everyone gets tired; it's natural.

And eventually! "Oh, yeah, of course I did that dumb thing as a teenager. It's easy to see how I got there, and how I can avoid that type of immature mistake/behavior in the future. Why am I even holding that against myself when I've clearly grown? And I'll keep growing, too."

And I related a lot to a blurb in Marie Kondo's first or second book. She said someone asked her if it bothers her when other people are messy and disorganized. She basically said, yeah, until she realized her problems with them came from within. Once she was at peace with herself and her own space, she was fine with whatever other people did with their own spaces.

I find that very true for myself. It's easy to be kind and patient with others when I'm at peace with myself. I wouldn't wanna go home to a hostile environment, so why do I insist on making my most private space hostile? Once you see how damaging for no benefit it is, you can't unsee it.

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Accomplished-Rice992 t1_je45jxo wrote

Replying to justasmalltowndad (#2,438,719)

Before you know it, you're accidentally doing acts of service for future you 🙈

Before I had a surgery, I packed myself a couple blankets in the car in case it was chilly when I got out. I was so hopeful future me would appreciate it. I actually put a bit of thought into it, and wanted to be considerate of a future me who wasn't 100%.

Future Me had a bad reaction to anesthesia and couldn't heat up even with meds, food, and extra blankets. I was desperately grateful for cozy home blankets for the ride home. I now would kill for past me, what an absolute champion.

I have found it easier in the months past to stop myself when I start criticizing my little mistakes and ask if it's fair. It usually is not. Especially to be so critical of someone who saved me from turning into an icicle. 🥳

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cyankitten t1_je49zu4 wrote

I’m going through a very difficult time & honestly it’s easy to feel like I’m useless at the moment too. Thanks therefore for this reminder. I needed this today.

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mantasmark OP t1_je4bjmo wrote

Replying to cyankitten (#2,442,339)

Difficult times are always welcome, as thats what allows us to feel and appreciate good times. Dont be harsh on yourself, and do your best, step by step until good times are at your doorstep. I believe in you 🫶🏻

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cyankitten t1_je4bzv7 wrote

Replying to mantasmark (#2,442,597)

Thank you so much. Yes, I know what you mean. I feel quite a lot of bitterness and anger at times that I’m going through this however if when I recover I will appreciate NOT being in that situation anymore and also I try to find things each day to appreciate about my day.

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DDman70 t1_je4f1e4 wrote

I am literally the guy in the pic

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Zeldon567 t1_je4g56k wrote

Replying to agent_wolfe (#2,440,550)

Accept what happened, acknowledge it, and make peace with it. Teach yourself to learn from the past without letting it harm you emotionally. And learn to forgive yourself for that which you can't change. The fact that you remember and feel bad about your mistakes implies that you're a good person at heart. Those without empathy would not regret their mistakes. Try to remember that and be kind to yourself.

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Kuli24 t1_je4vudb wrote

The best movies I've seen have been alone.

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carmium t1_je5kzcn wrote

Replying to Captain-Shivers (#2,437,974)

I act like I do. I buy myself things sometimes. I don't cut myself or run at brick walls. But I still dislike me.
I could have been far better, I could have worked harder, and not been abnormal. Well, maybe not much choice on the latter. I know I could have been nicer, and less angry. More generous and less judgemental, especially for someone with so much to be judged. I feel I've sucked up far more resources from society than I'll ever give back.
What's to like, let alone love?

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TitansTaint t1_je5nslo wrote

This one brought a tear to my eye. I recently found myself again and it's been amazing. That dude did change my life in a very good way once I started taking care of him. He is awesome, I love him so much.

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TitansTaint t1_je5or00 wrote

Replying to Accomplished-Rice992 (#2,441,624)

I've never heard it explained this way, that's very interesting! The child/critic schema is what helped me break through but I've since internalized it as my emotional self and logical self, left brains and right brain. My logical self kept my emotional self under very strict control in the effort to protect him. Once I made sure my emotional self was safe, especially from my logical self, he is now able to come out and experience life. With both my logical and emotional selfs working in concert I can bring my full self to bear on life and as a result it gets much easier and clearer.

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SilverSlong t1_je5phoc wrote

DAMN THIS ONE HITS HOME!!! LETS FUCKING GO!!!!!

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Synth_Ham t1_je5y32s wrote

Thanks for never ever letting me down.

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