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Haploid-life t1_it71xwh wrote

Reply to comment by l0v3bu770n in [Image] "Toxic Positivity is Forced..." - Susan David by true90sstory

Yep. Commiserate instead of trying to get me to dismiss my own feelings.

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--leave_me_alone-- t1_it72g8j wrote

Naw. Stop wallowing. People get mad when some people say the solution to depression and the like is to "just get over it". That's why it sucks. As someone that was wildly depressed, you have to find the key which is often just a shift in perspective.

I still get depressed, and I use self affirmation to ride it out

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Rebresker t1_it73r69 wrote

I was part of a 20 year study for kids with a parent who was diagnosed with depression and showed signs of having depression that was geared towards preventing depression. We talked a lot with each other, had classes about recognizing the early stages of depression and described those stages as a downward spiral. Discussed ways to recognize and prevent yourself from going down further.

They paid us to do it and bought us lunch. It was like initially once a week, then once a month, then when we got older it was just phone interviews.

I think it helped get me through some shitty times but I think something like that requires a “renewal” once in a while because I honestly at this point can’t remember much about the content of those classes to put in practice.

Also, legitimately talking sincerely with other people is pretty nice in itself.

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Haploid-life t1_it7fgpa wrote

Ah yes, tell the lady that is grieving the loss of her husband or child to stop wallowing. FFS.

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--leave_me_alone-- t1_it7w3bn wrote

That's not the context of this post, and as a generality I stand by what I said.

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--leave_me_alone-- t1_it7zl9w wrote

Hold up, are you literally just making a straw man post here? You literally are posting about your son and husband...

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kingman123 t1_it7e1ek wrote

Exactly. Focusing on the solutions, doesn’t mean neglecting the problem or the negative feelings. It just means you drop the constant rumination. It could even be useful to schedule like 20-30 minutes of your day to just feel like shit, but after that it just blocks you from moving forward

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nxdark t1_it7prc3 wrote

Your feelings are not serving you well and making the problem worse. You should dismiss them and just work on solving the issue.

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ashoka_akira t1_ita09a3 wrote

So someone just died and I’m dealing with the grief of that, how do I solve that issue? Are you saying that I’m not allowed to have my grief?

Preventing someone from grieving actually hinders their psychological healing: sometimes you actually have to have feelings and work through them and not just dismiss them.

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nxdark t1_ita3ej9 wrote

Grief is a waste of time. This is a lesson to learn to prepare for anyone's death as death is a fact of life. Accept anyone will not be here tomorrow then the next time it happens you will be unaffected and you will be able to continue on with your life. Preparing ahead of time means there is no damage you need to heal from.

Believing you have to be sad and have an emotional response when something that is a certainty just wastes your time and energy.

We as humans must work to evolve past this nonsense.

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