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AmadSeason t1_j06v50g wrote

But who we are is because of what or doesn't happen to us.

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ButeoJamaicensis- t1_j074zfn wrote

People with adverse childhood events often have altered their amygdala’s permanently and have to deal with the repercussions of what other people did to them.

: Adverse childhood experiences (ACE) such as sexual and physical abuse or neglect are frequent in childhood and constitute a massive stressor with long-lasting adverse effects on the brain, mental and physical health

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6131660/

People saying things doesn’t make them true.

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naqvi876 t1_j07cz2f wrote

YOu are right but its Difficult to understand r/GaryVaynerchukFans

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ButeoJamaicensis- t1_j07lokp wrote

I mean, that’s extremely open ended to presume all change is possible. It isn’t always true. If you want to discuss more, let’s talk about the formerly “feral child” from Plant City, Florida and her inability to lead a normal life due to the neglect of her childhood.

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ibeforetheu t1_j07m2yc wrote

Not every case will be the same, true. There are degrees of ACE one can experience, none of which were by choice. There are also varying degrees that you can change. The first step is to understand there is a possibility and that you do wield some power of that possibility. It won't be easy.

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sorrybouthat00 t1_j07t7rn wrote

Did you actually though? Or do you THINK you did. Also neuroplasticity is not an equal attribute. It varies widely depending on a multitude of factors, age being one of the biggest. Trauma can have an amazingly variable effect on neuroplasticity. There are theories around overt creativity(perpetual neuroplasticity)being triggered by early trauma. Some of our most prolific artists have very dark beginnings. But that doesn't mean you want to BE an artist, these people are often tortured souls that tend to have very bad endings.

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Schwefelholz t1_j07xvmb wrote

Thank you! Wanted to check out books by C.G. Jung anyway. Now I'm a little bit more interested.

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coyote-1 t1_j07zb4f wrote

While there is truth here, it is not true for anyone who does not KNOW that it is possible.

And merely telling them does not equate to them knowing.

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Goosfraba21 t1_j087tq2 wrote

I like this. While not trying to downplay anyone’s bad experiences, the “woe is me” attitude is way too pervasive. It’s always a bitter uphill struggle for most. It makes sense to try our best. To quote something I read once “what is the other fucking option?”

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SmileWithMe__ t1_j08a7ch wrote

I think that some damage is irreversible, but it doesn’t mean you can’t go on to achieve great things, but I do think it means that you’ll always struggle internally, and be motivated to drown it out with drugs/alcohol/medication etc. So I do think that pretending you’re fine, won’t make you fine, but it doesn’t necessarily have the power to stop you from achieving either.

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Rainbow_Dash_RL t1_j08cp8b wrote

Modern psychology suggests the opposite is true.

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unpopularopinion0 t1_j08lqsc wrote

well i think the exact opposite. but it’s a nice sentiment.

we are because of what happened to us. that’s why we sneeze the way we do. believes the things we grew up learning. act the way we do.

to choose who to become. what does that even mean? if we choose to become something isn’t that part of the past after that something is achieved? so if we chose to become something it’s in the past. so we are therefore not that?

i get that maybe in certain circumstances, having had a shitty life doesn’t mean you are shitty. but it’s because of those experiences that we decide to not be shitty. if we had a good life and are good, we would remain good and our past assisted in that goodness.

so it may be a targeted quote for people who are not where they want to be. but that’s still them. accepting it is productive imo. then using that awareness to guide future actions. but it’s still you. and because of the past you couldn’t be any other way. so might as well accept it. then use that to go forward with consciousness.

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unpopularopinion0 t1_j08n8sq wrote

this is very true. i think the “I am” part is loose for a lot of people here. what does “I am” mean? the thoughts you experience? the actions you take? the conscious awareness of existing? if we were unaware of things but still living, we would be exactly what our experiences in the past made us to be. because we are aware of things sometimes, those awarenesses reveal secondary options of action. because of our desire to sometimes not be a certain way, we bring awareness to that part and can see obvious solutions and choices that are better than the ones we’ve been making without awareness.

it’s pretty cool to think about. and not so easily summed up. and i think this quote needs much more context since it’s not clear at all where the quote is being applied.

i always think it’s applied to people trying to cope with having a terrible past and not letting they define them. well, i think it most certainly does define you in a way. but so does awareness to those issues. so imo it’s all good. just be aware of it and choices present themselves where they can. like a choice vacuum. once awareness sets in, choices are possible and fill the vacuum of feeling like there’s no other choice. because quickly you are able to see room for them.

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KS2Problema t1_j08op76 wrote

I phrased it that way because I'm so used to people attributing quotations to famous folks that they never said, and I suspected that that might be the case here.

And that appears to be true:

https://carljungdepthpsychologysite.blog/2020/01/29/popular-carl-jung-quotations-and-quotations-attributed-to-but-never-uttered-by-dr-jung/#.Y5pASmSIZzA

According to that site, what Jung said was;

"It is not I who create myself, rather I happen to myself."

-- Carl Jung, Collected Works 11, paragraph 391

Clearly, those are expressions of very different sentiments.

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Ziplis t1_j08qug0 wrote

You are what you choose to be, now choose!! - Hogarth from Iron giant

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BabyElephantWalks t1_j08wbqv wrote

Anyone know what happened to Carl Jung? I’ve read his book. Never knew anything about this childhood

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Murgos- t1_j08yxda wrote

I am what happened to me after I chose my path.

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uthink3banscanstopme t1_j095g2l wrote

Something I've heard a lot and spread in my life:

Choose to be defined by your troubles.

Or choose to be defined by how you thrive in spite of them.

The meaning being: you can either focus on the bad parts of your past and how they affect you now and let that define you as a person, or you can handle your shit, move on with your life and learn to thrive in spite of all of that nonsense. It will change your life if you really take it to heart. I cured my depression because I took this to heart and decided to stop feeding the beast of cyclical negativity in my life and moved beyond that, and built something beautiful.

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Pinguanec t1_j098p05 wrote

Except that what you choose is dictated by what happened to you.

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Suyefuji t1_j09ay6j wrote

I'm an intelligent person with a successful career despite massive PTSD. At the same time, I know I would have had so much more potential if I wasn't spending half of my energy every day fighting with mental illness.

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SmileWithMe__ t1_j09gbpx wrote

I agree 100%. It slows one down, and the sense of inferiority it creates, then pushes one forward lol (I say it jokingly, but I realize that it’s not funny at all when you’re in it).

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chevymonza t1_j09jvte wrote

I'm in a career rut, and have to fight the PTSD all the time. Always trying to remain neutral in a department fraught with drama and turnover. People get on my case about not taking sides sometimes, but I honestly don't know who to trust most of the time.

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hiimred2 t1_j09x8kq wrote

I never debated that part, I'm here to make sure it's understood that some people just actually aren't able to "just do it" no matter how hard they believe. That goes for many facets of life. You can't will away a brain chemistry issue anymore than someone built with immensely large bone structure can set a world record in the 110m hurdles. The former needs medication, the latter is better suited to trying his hand at throwing events.

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AbelCapabel t1_j0aiebf wrote

This is admirable, and yes, a motivating quote to start 'change'. Change from what? Change from what we are, to what we want to be. Because, after all, this quote may be inspirational, it is however false. Are we not shaped by our past experiences?

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Tower95 t1_j0au3q1 wrote

I am what i choose to become.

Thanks. A currently unemployed :D

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KS2Problema t1_j0csdzd wrote

Yep. I've learned the hard way that the snappier, pithier, more 'quotable' the alleged quotation attributed to some notable, estimable person, the more skeptical I should probably be.

People find a great maxim or aphorism, but they don't seem to have enough faith in the truth of it to let it stand on its own merit, so they go looking for some cultural authority figure to attribute it to...

Now, I think there's value in the ethos that the misattributed quotation suggests, just as I think there's value in Jung's very different take on the process.

(I'm no expert on Jungian thought, but I think it's safe to say that Jung felt that much human behavior and character development is driven by mental processes beyond or beneath the arena of consciousness; in his view, I think it can be said, the person is formed by his own, mostly subconscious emotions, fears, and desires, more than a conscious, ego layer driven decision process.)

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eruborus t1_j0cubmq wrote

OMG. You perfectly exemplify the quote: the mods made the reddit default. It HAPPENED to you. You COULD unsubscribe but you choose not to. You would rather have things happen to you than choose which reddit to be a part of. Fantastic example!!

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Pinguanec t1_j0eb2em wrote

I would argue dictated. A child who got beat by their parents experienced a lot more than just the beating and all of those experiences together dictate what your decision is. You cannot just pick one and look at in a vacuum.

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