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PingouinMalin t1_j1dzo78 wrote

It doesn't mean they'd be worse either. Seriously, let people cry over shit. Saying people to relativise all the time is toxic. Not motivating

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The59Sownd t1_j1ebtyn wrote

I think this mentality could be a way of reframing regret. Often people can get stuck in regret, wishing they'd made a different decision. I think a lot of regret comes from believing things would have been better with a different decision, even though there's no evidence for that. So I think one can and should process painful feelings related to whatever is happening, without needing to compare their reality to an imagined alternate one.

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imlikemikenike t1_j1fjoi2 wrote

I call it the doom loop when this happens, and indeed a way to reframe the mindset does help when it feel like you’re drowning in guilt and shame.

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crujones33 t1_j1g500z wrote

I have regrets, lots of them. And I know they would have led to a better life.

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The59Sownd t1_j1g6dit wrote

You can't know that. Any different decision creates a completely different trajectory in life, and you can't know where that would have led you. Even if the choices we made fucked things up for us, we can't ever know where a different decision would have led us. Which is what makes regret so hard: our imagination is powerful, and create entirely different and happy realities for us.

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Lower_Analysis_5003 t1_j1f6mls wrote

Ah yes, a woman's rape and murder is for the best because who knows? Maybe she would have been double raped and double murdered! There's no evidence it wouldn't have happened instead!

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owlunar t1_j1fjve3 wrote

What the fuck are you talking about?

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COSMOOOO t1_j1fmoml wrote

They read something about regret and their mind instantly jumps to raping and murdering a woman.

The guilty wheel squeaks loudest. Anyone got a NSA agent they wanna point at that guy?

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Gyoza-shishou t1_j1fthja wrote

I thought we all had our own personal agent watching us 24/7

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onetimenative t1_j1e6k95 wrote

This is the worst day of your life .... so far!

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sovietmcdavid t1_j1e8o8a wrote

I'm an optimist. Things could be worse!

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Not_floridaman t1_j1fib2t wrote

When my blood pressure was high after I had my twins, I was getting nervous because I've always had crazy low BP and my ob (whom I love) was like "try not to get too upset. It's not terrible yet and it could always be worse" then the BP cuff finished, it was higher and he goes "look! It's worse!" In that moment, he made me laugh so much.

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Phdcatbird t1_j1f1rbq wrote

This absolutely motivated me. I have a very punitive thought process sometimes and this kind of advice is actually very helpful for me.

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TheGoldenSeraph t1_j1f0rjr wrote

I don't see this as meaning anything would necessarily be worse. More like whatever problems or issues you have currently would likely just be replaced with other issues and problems. Just a pick your poison type of scenario but everybody always picks what the other guy has because they think what they have is not good enough or is the worst they can get.

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