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soup_gorl t1_j75ret0 wrote

Reply to comment by AdonisGaming93 in [Image] today’s thoughts by Fast_Ad7959

That type of goodness is usually actually transactional on the part of the “empath”. This happens when empathy and codependency get confused.

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AdonisGaming93 t1_j77jk61 wrote

Well that's a separate issue same as "nice guy" syndrome where people are nice only because they want something not because they genuinely care.

I'm talking about those who are always up for helping others and end up having people pile on their toxicity on us, and we kinda just keep helping cause thats what we do. To the point where you end up getting abused and used and you don't know how to stand up for yourself and cut people off because it makes you feel like a bad person.

I can't speak for everyone but in my case I've had people abuse the fact that I'm always there for others and want to help any way I can. It's lead to some friendships turning into them using me for their own issues, and romantic relationships into me being abused and cheated on etc.

What you are describing is also an issue, but idk if that's what I'm talking about. I mean more people who are actually too nice and caring that they want to help the world and don't realize that one person can't, and don't know how to protect themselves when others take advantage.

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soup_gorl t1_j77k6y8 wrote

I hear you. Being a good person involves lots of healthy boundaries. Otherwise there is an inevitable burnout. Boundaries with love is so important. No one can always be there for others, nor should they be even if they could. Sometimes people have to learn stuff the hard way even if we want to help. Caring and compassion can become codependency very quickly if it doesn’t stay within healthy lines. It’s our own responsibility to make sure we protect ourselves from overextension.

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