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rob51i03 t1_j76suuj wrote

That's good in the context of examining and removing self-destructive behaviors. Or maybe decluttering a closet.

Not so good in the context of empathy and compassion for others.

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ricked_ways t1_j77nij1 wrote

For real. Sometimes you just gotta deal with it, you're not always gonna love the people you love.

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Creek00 t1_j7873x7 wrote

Yeah I hate the attitude off dumping friends just because they’re going through some shit, they can be in a terrible place for years, if you let them lean on you a little you might have earned yourself someone who would die for you once they’ve recovered.

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soup_gorl t1_j78cmkp wrote

where do you hear people insisting others dump their friends who are going through a hard time? i wouldnt ever consider a friend whose struggling to be someone whos no longer serving me. i think those are two very different things.

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merchillio t1_j7b332u wrote

The trick is to be able to see the difference between friends who are temporarily in a bad place and friends who are toxic but that you are keeping because of the sink cost fallacy. And sometimes, the survival of the friendship requires to take a step back for a while.

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First_Foundationeer t1_j78zxko wrote

Not so good? Sometimes, you need to make it so that the people you love are in different roles in your life to preserve that love.

And sometimes, you need to cut out dipshits in your life because you may have been conditioned to love your abuser, but it's probably best for you to cut them out.

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sarvaga t1_j79ket2 wrote

Yeah I don’t really resonate with this mindset. Even when it comes to your own habits and behaviors, toxic or not, it’s not like you can just magically cut them out and remove them. Maybe some, but for the most part it takes tremendous acceptance and self-compassion and patience before healing and transformation happens. And it feels like moving toward a pattern with love and tenderness more than cutting it out and throwing it away.

Just my two cents.

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teddy5011 t1_j796em8 wrote

Well said. It all depends on the context.

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lolpostslol t1_j79sajg wrote

Yeah in order to actually form meaningful connections with other people, it would be much more productive to burn down the tree so you’d have a huge fire and call your neighbors to look at it because fire is cool. Then you’d also probably meet lots of friends in jail.

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