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Delicious_Ad_1853 t1_j8mncdy wrote

Reply to comment by Igeticsu in [image] The happiness equation by crm_expert

Is it possible that your expectations also include the idea that you "shouldn't" be single? If so, wouldn't that expectation be the source of your unhappiness?

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Igeticsu t1_j8ryk77 wrote

If I know exactly what I want out of life, that being to find someone, get married, have kids and be a better father to those kids than my dad was to me and my siblings, then obviously in this case, being single makes it quite difficult to work towards that goal in life. That's not too say I'm unhappy now, I feel like I'm doing quite well. But if in ten years time I'm no closer... Yeah, then it's a problem.

Lowering my expectations to "Ohh maybe I'll die alone" doesn't automatically bring happiness, just because that might become a reality.

In conclusion: Meme-philosophy sucks

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Delicious_Ad_1853 t1_j9le1j9 wrote

>But if in ten years time I'm no closer... Yeah, then it's a problem.

What's the alternative? If you're still single in ten years, do you think adding bitterness and depression to the equation are going to help you find a partner?

I think not. I think the age-old paradoxical advice is correct... you're most likely to attract a partner when you've found happiness within yourself.

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Igeticsu t1_j9leetq wrote

Well, as I said, I'm quite fine where I am now. But giving up on your life goals, just because of some internet voodoo philosophy meme that took 30 second to make... No, that's not the way to find happiness

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Delicious_Ad_1853 t1_j9mdw30 wrote

Who said anything about giving up goals? The meme is about expectations.

You can want to find a partner, you can try to find a partner, but if you expect to find a partner, as if the universe somehow owes it to you... well, that's setting yourself up for a lot of unhappiness.

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