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Igeticsu t1_j8hu3ge wrote

Pretty bad equation if you ask me. My reality is that I'm single. My expectations are that I'll remain single. That doesn't mean being single brings me happiness.

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thathatlookssilly t1_j8jhg9b wrote

Your expectation is that not being single will bring you happiness.

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Igeticsu t1_j8k0bwu wrote

Given my experiences.. yes

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SirVanyel t1_j8mloio wrote

Well, you're not gonna stop experiencing stuff, so why invite the misery of experiences you aren't currently having? That mental and emotional space could be better spent investing in yourself for the future you, a version of you that's better for relationships.

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WaifuRekker t1_j8jeqg5 wrote

Youre right, its missing some variables. Effort, luck, and love can help push reality closer to expectation

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Delicious_Ad_1853 t1_j8mncdy wrote

Is it possible that your expectations also include the idea that you "shouldn't" be single? If so, wouldn't that expectation be the source of your unhappiness?

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Igeticsu t1_j8ryk77 wrote

If I know exactly what I want out of life, that being to find someone, get married, have kids and be a better father to those kids than my dad was to me and my siblings, then obviously in this case, being single makes it quite difficult to work towards that goal in life. That's not too say I'm unhappy now, I feel like I'm doing quite well. But if in ten years time I'm no closer... Yeah, then it's a problem.

Lowering my expectations to "Ohh maybe I'll die alone" doesn't automatically bring happiness, just because that might become a reality.

In conclusion: Meme-philosophy sucks

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Delicious_Ad_1853 t1_j9le1j9 wrote

>But if in ten years time I'm no closer... Yeah, then it's a problem.

What's the alternative? If you're still single in ten years, do you think adding bitterness and depression to the equation are going to help you find a partner?

I think not. I think the age-old paradoxical advice is correct... you're most likely to attract a partner when you've found happiness within yourself.

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Igeticsu t1_j9leetq wrote

Well, as I said, I'm quite fine where I am now. But giving up on your life goals, just because of some internet voodoo philosophy meme that took 30 second to make... No, that's not the way to find happiness

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Delicious_Ad_1853 t1_j9mdw30 wrote

Who said anything about giving up goals? The meme is about expectations.

You can want to find a partner, you can try to find a partner, but if you expect to find a partner, as if the universe somehow owes it to you... well, that's setting yourself up for a lot of unhappiness.

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